‘If anyone wanted to get hurt, this was the place’

Patricia van Liemt is a radio host, writer and mother of Maria (12) and Phaedra (9). Every Friday she writes accurate, honest, funny and above all recognizable columns about her life and motherhood.

Vacation stories are fun to a degree, so are vacation photos. And now that we are honest with each other: if we were in a whatsapp group together, we would rather not share five hundred holiday photos, because I am still of the generation that automatically saves all photos on my camera roll. Against all my own rules, I am now going to do the opposite. Because I have to tell you this holiday story.

Middle of nowhere

Well, while I’m typing this column, I’m safe in my home in the Netherlands, but last week I was somewhere in a deserted desert where it was 44 degrees. I was in with my family Death Valley. That is a desert in the US state of California, which is one of the hottest places in the world in the summer, along with some desert areas in Africa and the Middle East. I kid you not.

My Dutch compass couldn’t handle that at all, and my geographic radar was completely out of whack. Whichever way you would drive, it took three hours before you were back in civilization. Imagine for a moment. That you drive for three hours on a highway and you come across absolutely nothing! It felt like we were in a scary Western movie.

Deserted place

We rented a house through Airbnb that turned out to be in a super deserted place somewhere in the desert. As we drove into the ghost town, invisible shivers ran down my spine. Our lodge stood between three trailers. There were several rusted pick-ups in the surrounding gardens, and chained dogs barked behind a wire mesh fence. Do you have a picture?

“As we drove into the ghost town, invisible shivers ran down my spine”

From other Americans we met along the way, I understood that residents of these remote places all have guns. Mainly to protect themselves from wild animals. check.

Also read – These holidays turned out to be a disaster: ‘After driving fifteen hundred kilometers we had to wrap ourselves in rain capes’ >

Total doom

We installed ourselves in the house and I kept to myself. But then it got dark and the howling coyotes kept me awake. Suddenly a feeling of utter doom came over me. Where The Fuck have we ended up? I also realized we were hugely touristy with our rented BMW parked pontifically next to the tiny house. If anyone wanted harm, this was the place to do it. The Dutch headlines are running through my head: ‘Dutch family massacred in Death Valley…’

Moving in the middle of the night

I woke my husband up and shared my horrifying thoughts with him. Slightly irritated, but knowing me he gave in to go to the only motel the village knows. We woke the kids up and lied that the air con was broken. We left everything behind except our passports, money and my pillow and got into the car in the pitch dark.

A few minutes later we arrived at a dodgy motel, which once inside also turned out to be a small casino. When we played a leading role in an obscure western film a few minutes earlier, we now suddenly had a supporting role in The Godfather.

Rats in the trap

Everyone in the casino stared at us and I concluded that this was an even more dangerous scenario. We ended up getting a room with a window that turned out to be a wall. While a roaring air conditioner tried to clear my mind, I realize we’re trapped like rats. I still didn’t close my eyes.

“We ended up getting a room with a window that turned out to be a wall”

The next morning we drove back to our cottage with squeaky tires, where we were kindly greeted by a few local residents. Slightly ashamed, I packed up our things and left for our next destination.

Maybe I should watch less scary movies…

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