‘I was shocked when I saw my own nude photo on an obscure sex site’

Sylvia (28), mother of Tijn (3), married to Bouke (30).

“Just 23, I was naive, grown up in a small village and gullible. Not used to anything yet. At the age of sixteen and now really single for the first time. Determined to enjoy my freedom, I tried my luck on Tinder over time. Edwin was one of the first to respond. He looked good in his profile picture – just one, now that would ring alarm bells. Nice head with dark hair, aviator sunglasses, leather jacket. He drove a motorcycle, it said in his profile. And he was well traveled. I thought that was attractive.

From that moment on we started chatting with each other. Whole evenings. Edwin intrigued me. I found it striking that he often directed our conversations towards sex, but I saw no harm in it. Also sexually I was still pretty blue, I sometimes wanted to have a tough talk with friends. Edwin soon suggested to continue on Whatsapp.

Topless

Our messages became increasingly spicy in tone. He was complimentary about my appearance and wondered what was hidden under my dresses. My breasts are quite large: I have a cup F, at 75 centimeters in circumference. Didn’t I have a bikini photo? I first sent him an unobtrusive snapshot of me on the beach. Later I let myself be tempted into a close-up of my cleavage in lace lingerie and went the farthest by sending a topless photo. Headless, but with clearly visible nipples. I did that after a lot of pushing on his part and when we were already doing some kind of app sex.

Edwin first sent me a so-called dick pic. He said that our conversations made him so horny and had a boner from my bikini and bra photo, he wanted a real nude photo to ‘top it off’. When I pressed send, I immediately regretted it. How stupid could I be sending this to a strange man? Someone with whom I have been chatting and texting almost daily for three weeks, but whom I had never spoken to, let alone seen in real life.

I urged Edwin to delete the photo. I only got a wink smiley in response. I definitely declined his requests for more and more intense images. Not long after, his apps dried up. He had blocked his number. He also suddenly disappeared from Tinder. That made me feel uncanny. I thought it was a shame, but at the same time I was happy, it still felt like I had crossed a certain limit. I deleted our Whatsapp history and resolved never to send photos like that again.

‘My profile’

Barely two weeks after our last app traffic, I suddenly received a strange message. An unknown number wanted to get in touch with me on Whatsapp. Unsuspectingly I opened the message and was shocked by a picture of a huge dick. It turned out to belong to one ‘Michel36’ who wrote that ‘with my big tits’ I probably knew what to do with it. Shocked, I quickly deleted the message. But before I knew it, one app after another popped in with obscene photos.

On the message from ‘Hassan79’ who neatly only texted ‘Hello beautiful lady’, I sent the question how he got my number. His answer reminded me shaking. Apparently I was signed up on some obscure dating sex site. At my request, he made a screen print of ‘my profile’. I was shocked when I discovered my own bikini and breast photo with my first name and age, plus the addition that I was up for anything and had a wet pussy …

At that moment I screamed and whined very loudly. I did not dare to tell my parents, but immediately called my brother for help. I went to the police with him and my best friend. My shame was immense. They couldn’t do much for me there, because I had volunteered photos and didn’t even know to whom exactly. All they gave me was to get another secret number. Of course I did that immediately; my app inbox covered more than 75 messages in just 48 hours!

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To the background

The telephone terror was over immediately, my stress was not. I lay awake for nights and became paranoid when a man on the street looked my way for too long or a group of young people were laughing. Then I immediately thought: they have seen my breast pictures. I couldn’t think about anything else. I scoured the internet for days, looking for my first name and nude photos. But when I met my current boyfriend Bouke not long after, it faded into the background.

I told Bouke briefly about the photos, without too many details about how and what. The embarrassment was too great for that. I was hoping it had been a nightmare. Things went very fast between Bouke and me. A year after our first date I was pregnant and when our daughter Renske was four months old, we got married. It all ends well, I thought.

Resurfaced

Until two years ago I suddenly saw my breasts pop up on a Facebook forum about breastfeeding. A woman posing as Rebecca volunteered to be a breastfeeding expert using my lingerie photo as a profile. I thought I was going crazy! It could not be missed that it was my photo: I recognized my black bra and thong and oval mirror. In complete shock I called the police – who obviously couldn’t do anything with it, but was kind enough to speak to me.

Then I reported the photo to Facebook. I investigated further and found the photo on Marktplaats. There ‘she’ was called differently, but also offered herself as a lactation consultant. There was nothing for it but to tell my husband. He was not amused, to put it mildly. Bouke thought I was such an idiot. What had gotten into me? Yes, I have no idea. Youthful silliness? The annoying thing is that I can no longer change that now. Once you hit the internet, you’re stuck with it forever. My luck is that my head is blank, but I know it’s my breasts!

Who then?

I have no idea who is doing this and for what reason. Is it a man? At the time I had contact with a certain Edwin, but I don’t know much more about him than how he looked in that vague Tinder photo. I deleted everything, including his picture of his body parts. But they could also have been obtained from somewhere. Maybe the culprit is a woman. Or someone from my past who wants to bully me, as the police suggested. But who then? And for what purpose? I am not being blackmailed, money or anything in return has never been asked.

It’s been quiet for a while now, but knowing that someone out there owns my photos and can use them whenever he or she wants is horrible. I am a married woman, mother moreover, the thought that a nude photo could emerge any moment is maddening. ”

This article can be found in Kek Mama 13-2020.

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