‘I was called from all sides and congratulated’

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Every month a mother talks about the moment in motherhood when things went completely wrong.

Elisa (35), mother of daughter Julia (8) and baby Thomas (3 months):

“After four miscarriages, I was finally pregnant again. I had only been on the road for eleven weeks, but I had already been allowed to listen to the heartbeat twice. According to my midwife everything went well and we could expect a healthy baby this time. Yet we only wanted to announce it to the world after the gender ultrasound. That felt better.

Secret

In principle, only our parents knew, but I wanted to tell our almost eight-year-old daughter anyway. That would explain why I rested more often, was no longer allowed to lift heavy and therefore couldn’t throw her on the bed, as we always did during the sleeping ritual. She was also old enough to keep this to herself, we thought.

“We impressed on her that she could talk about it at home, but really not say anything to her friend”

Just before she went to sleep, my husband and I came to Julia’s room. We told her that if all went well she would have a little brother or sister, but that it was our big secret. She was ecstatic, jumping up and down and immediately making up names for the baby. We impressed on her that she could talk about it at home, but that she really couldn’t say anything to her friend Hailey, for example. No, she didn’t, she promised.

Read also – That went wrong: ‘The teacher looked doubtful when my daughter entered the classroom’ >

A deal is a deal

The next day at work I was called from all sides, texted and congratulated on my early pregnancy; by the master, gym teacher and the leader of Julia’s out-of-school care. In the evening I went to get a story from my daughter: what had happened? Maybe she accidentally slipped?

But no, she had just been very enthusiastic about it with her teachers and master. She couldn’t understand why I was disappointed: I hadn’t told her not to tell the others, had I? She had kept to the agreement: it was still a secret for girlfriend Hailey.”

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