“How fit a woman looks after childbirth is not the most important thing, is it?”
Ellen is a counselor in secondary special education, a thriller author at publisher De Fontein, mother of Lewis and Miles (11 and 8) from a previous relationship and gave birth to daughter Sophia with her boyfriend Nils in November.
I recently read an article about a woman who was cheated on by her husband. Always annoying of course, but I found this one extra harrowing. Why? They just had a baby and the gentleman was no longer aroused by his wife, because ‘her body didn’t affect him anymore after the birth of their daughter’.
Lamb Ray first class
Besides of course you are a lamb beam first class when you cheat on someone (also when this
happens the other way around, but I’m writing about this situation now), is cheating on your wife because she has your child
has gotten very, very low. I can assume that she is not waiting for serious ones either
stretch marks, sagging breasts, a cut, vacuum pump, stitches and other damage.
Read also – ‘Let’s look at what each child needs’
No woman is happy with a thirty-hour delivery, no woman is happy with a battered body, but every woman is proud after carrying and giving birth to a child. It would at least be very nice if your partner would share that feeling of pride instead of feeling aversion, like the gentleman in the article. As a woman, you are at your most vulnerable during childbirth. Imagine your partner then mentions that he was “disgusted to see you like this?” Well, shoot me. What a dick.
Not an Insta fit girl
No, your wife may not look the way she did before pregnancy, but is that a bad thing? She has created a human – your son or daughter – and brought it into the world. The average woman isn’t an Insta-fit girl, she won’t be back in shape in a month and I think most women have other things on their mind than hanging out at the gym five times a week during their leave.
Of course, there are exceptions and I really respect that, but almost all mothers need some time to find their feet with the baby. Be realistic. How fit a woman looks is not the most important thing in the world, is it? Taking good care of yourself and eating healthy are important and it would be nice if a partner supported that idea.
Shocking
The reactions under the article were also shocking, because there were many men who did understand. If she’s a fat pig, she should start exercising. Or: I get it, I wouldn’t feel like sagging tits and a flabby belly either. Or: My wife (mind you, my wife) has to keep doing her best for me. In addition, the ladies also got over it for a while. Because: It must be up to you. Give that baby away for once, exercise and go on a diet.
So much for the support of women among themselves. With a little exercise, sagging breasts and stretch marks can indeed be remedied and, of course, every woman can fully exercise again two months after giving birth. The ignorance, the cruelty, the harsh words. Why?
A miracle
Having a child is and remains a miracle and women often sacrifice their bodies for it. Is that
nice? Of course not, but there’s nothing you can do about it. Pregnancies and deliveries go as they do
go and you have no influence on it. Know what your body will look like after birth
no one. You expect support and warmth from your partner, after all, you have the most beautiful thing in him
datum. It is extremely sad that the very person you are sharing this with lets you down on all fronts.
“The ignorance, the cruelty, the harsh words. Why?”
My tip to the woman in the article would therefore be: kick that piece of sadness aside.
And any guy who is “disgusted” with his wife because of the birth of their child, I wish very briefly
arms and eternal itch. Success with it!
More Ellen? Follow her on Instagram. You can read her previous columns here.
Post Views: 0
