“How do I make my son responsible for his pet?”
Image: Unsplash
Sometimes you can’t figure it out on your own and you could use some advice. Every Tuesday a reader therefore tells about her dilemma.
Sandra (38) is married to Marco (40) and mother of sons Luca (11) and Wolf (8).
“Of course I had taken it into account: having a pet for the children usually means that you, as a parent, take care of it yourself. So a dog was not an option when Luca asked for a pet every day when he was ten. Half of our family is allergic to cats, the children thought a hamster, rabbit or guinea pig was ‘drowsy’. ‘Then there are no options left,’ I concluded jokingly, and thought I had finished the discussion.
“A pet for the children usually means that you as a parent take care of it yourself”
Thought wrong. Because after three months of incessant whining, Luca had the solution: it had to become a reptile. No hair, so no allergies, nice and decorative in the living room and in terms of care it was manageable. A gecko seemed like a good idea. And honestly: when Marco and I had read about it for two evenings, we agreed with him. The care and responsibility of a pet is good for children, it would be a nice stepping stone to more responsibilities.
Also read – This mother has doubts about a pet: ‘They drool and shed, but are good for parenting’ >
Responsibility
It went well for half a year. Then I stood in front of Gerrie the gecko with a bowl of grasshoppers. The lamp in his terrarium had been out for days, his clean sand untouched. Luca looked at me blankly when I asked him how he planned to keep his friend alive for another twenty years. “You did it now, didn’t you?” he shrugged.
“‘You did it now, didn’t you?’, he shrugged”
It is against my principles to discard a pet that you have consciously chosen. Gerrie is with us to stay, and however Luca look at it, Gerrie will still be there when he goes to live on his own or even gets married. He will therefore have to become responsible, but how do I ensure that? Withhold pocket money? Giving extra household tasks as punishment? Luca will have to intrinsically feel the motivation to care for his pet. At what age can I demand that from him, and how?”
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