“Do I love my baby?”

Image: Getty Images

Sometimes you can’t figure it out on your own and you could use some advice. That is why every Tuesday a reader talks about her dilemma.

Meriam (32) is mother of Matthew (6 months). She lives with Marcel (37).

“I never had a child wish before. It only came up when I met Marcel three years ago. Maybe because I first saw a good father in him. And from the first day I knew him, I didn’t want a moment without him.

Spicy

We were lucky: when we decided to go for it, I was already pregnant a month later. Something to be thankful for, I know, but it kind of took me by surprise. I had nine months to get used to the fact that my life would change forever and irreversibly.

That worked, for the most part. I was overjoyed once I held Matthew in my arms. And every day I’m glad he’s here. But I don’t tell anyone one thing: I also look forward to the three days a week that he goes to childcare every day. I find it hard, caring for a baby. And above all, I miss time for myself.

Read also – No time for yourself with a baby? Know that it’s perfectly normal’ >

Time for myself

I have a flexible job. I often try to start as early as seven o’clock. Then my friend Marcel takes Matthew away, and I can stop working at three o’clock. A good mother who loves her child would sprint to the nursery to pick him up, right?

Not me. I crave those moments after three. Then I pop into the city to shop, have a glass of wine in the pub by myself, and I don’t pick up my son until closing time: half past six. Only then can I get to myself, no matter how guilty I feel about it. Do more moms do this, or am I not loving my baby enough?”

With a subscription to Kek Mama you enjoy great benefits:

*Cheaper than in the store
*Read Kek Mama first every month
*Shipped for free

Subscribe now and pay only €4.19 per edition.

Post Views: 0