‘And so we have – in these last weeks of pregnancy – something to think about’
Image: Cynthia’s photography
A birth photographer there or not? When I gave birth to Lewis, a nurse had my camera and she took the pictures. When I die Looking back later, that didn’t make me very happy – to say the least.
Last weekend Nils and I drove for over two hours to the beach for a maternity photo shoot. In Arnhem the weather was raging and around Ede it really came pouring down from the sky, but in Hargen aan Zee – near Schoorl and Bergen – it would be dry. So nice. A photo series where you both look shivering, numb and wet is not what you envision as parents-to-be. I wouldn’t have liked threatening clouds either. If you then bring a crybaby into the world, there will always be those know-it-alls who say: ‘I already saw on your photo shoot that there was something in the air.’
Anyway, as the weather apps predicted, it was beautiful weather in Hargen aan Zee. Here and there a cloud and a radiant setting sun. Cynthia, a photographer by trade and coincidentally my girlfriend, did the shoot. Nils and I were giggling and not serious, which is why Cynthia might have thrown three quarters of her photos into the trash can, but what she sent me that night was truly beautiful. I was emotional about it, because it is my third pregnancy and only now have I had it recorded. I actually have very few beautiful pictures of my previous two pregnancies, how a shame is that? Why didn’t I do that with Lewis? Or when I was pregnant with Miles, on Curaçao? I guess I just didn’t think about it at the time and afterwards I really regret it. It is so valuable to have beautiful photos of such a special period. Now this pregnancy has been recorded and besides the big belly I also find it very special that the love between Nils and me is so visible. They are photos to cherish and I am very happy with them. A lasting memory.
Image: Cynthia’s Photography
Later, when we were chatting in a cozy restaurant, Cynthia asked us if we wanted a birth shoot too. We had talked about it before, but my answer was very definite: no. When I look at Cynthia’s Instagram and see those beautiful pictures of births, newborn babies and the emotions of parents, I think it’s wonderful. But myself? A photographer at my birth? Nah. Thank you.
When I gave birth to Lewis, a nurse had my camera and she took the pictures. When I looked back at it later, it didn’t make me very happy – to say the least. As if I would save those kinds of pictures to show to someone! So the nurse had been shooting right between my legs, with a baby’s head in between! Everything in full glory. “Lewis look, this is where you were born! Nice right.’ Child traumatized for the rest of his life. I have erased everything. If that had to be birth photography, then never mind. I do remember, I thought. Book closed.
‘Nooo!’ said Cynthia. ‘That is not birth photography. It’s about capturing the emotion, the first moments together, the whole process. Your little one changes so quickly, those first hours already. Many mothers experience the first hours in a daze, in the bubble of childbirth. There are moments you forget, sometimes you have questions. Sometimes the delivery has been intense and you want to be able to complete the puzzle.’
“And pictures between legs?” I asked skeptically. ‘No, that’s not part of it. Not so flat. If I already record the actual birth, then I do it from a completely different angle.’
“What about my crumpled face during the contractions?” ‘It’s not about the perfect picture. Childbirth is teamwork and a photo of you and Nils together during the contractions can show that very nicely.’
“Maybe then it’s a perfect picture,” Nils said. ‘Precisely. And for some women, labor doesn’t go as planned,’ Cynthia said. ‘I have
recorded a number of births where the mother was glad that I was there afterwards, it helped prevent trauma because she could look back on images.’
‘Don’t people find it difficult that someone else is with them, at home or in the delivery room?’ ‘A good photographer is like a fly on the wall, you can’t hear or see it. I do not interfere with the medical process and always keep my distance. I’m just recording what happens.’ “And are you going to drive two hours to attend my birth?”
‘With love.’
Image: Cynthia’s Photography
And so we – these last weeks – have something to think about. Birth photographer included or not? On the one hand it seems very special and on the other hand also exciting, but what if the results are just as beautiful as with our maternity photo shoot?
Conclusion: we doubt a little further … (and if you like to finish the last stretch you can send a follow request on Instagram: @ellenlina83)
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