“Am I degenerate if my baby doesn’t get his own room?”
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Sometimes you can’t figure it out on your own and you could use some advice. That is why every Tuesday a reader talks about her dilemma.
Romy (28) lives with Charles (40). They are expecting their first child.
“We knew that Charles and I wanted children together from the moment we met two years ago. But we had not anticipated that it would go so quickly.
“We don’t have room for a baby room”
The plan was to buy a house first, get at least one steady job, and live a grown-up life. In practice, we live in a two-room apartment without a view of a larger house, and both Charles and I still work as freelancers at the tiny dining table in our living room. We don’t have room for a baby’s room, the most grown-up thing we’ve arranged is two term life insurance policies, since we found out I’m pregnant.
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Own room
My mother smiles endearingly at me when I panicked again that we don’t have room for a child at all. “As if it realizes that it doesn’t have its own jungle-themed palace,” she then shrieks, “parents really only do that for themselves, dear.”
And of course she’s right. We now collect baby clothes and care items on a fairly cleared shelf in our wardrobe, a co-sleeper on my side of the bed just fits, and a changing pad fits exactly on the dresser where we store our underwear. That’s all we need for the first few months.
New house
Still, I look to the future with fear and trembling, because what if we don’t find a new home within two years, in the current market? And what about our sex life, with a child who always sleeps in our room? Wouldn’t I be better off buying a sofa bed and sacrificing our room for the baby?
“What about our sex life, with a child who always sleeps in our room?”
I feel like a degenerate mother when I think that later I will show our child his baby pictures, in which he didn’t even have his own room. Or am I being gross?”
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