‘A blowjob course did wonders for my relationship’

“Oral sex? I didn’t want any of it. Not to receive, but certainly not to give. I thought it was gross, was terrified of ejaculating in my mouth. I had never done it in previous relationships. That made me insecure too, didn’t know how to do that; fellatio in a man.

At first, my friend Armin accepted my refusal, but left every opportunity to let me know what he wanted. Alluded to ‘how tasty his lollipop was’ and sometimes literally pushed my head towards his crotch. It really became a deal breaker in our relationship. Armin regularly complained about how inhibited I was in bed and how sorry he was. It didn’t get more exciting than doggystyle with us.

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His best gift ever

But that changed in February last year. During a dull day at the Huishoudbeurs with my cousins, I had a conversation with a sex expert, a saleswoman of a well-known sex shop, at the Plein der Lusten. She told me about workshops that were offered through the store and pointed me to the blowjob workshop in particular.

More of a joke than serious I decided to sign up and went ‘on a course’, together with my oldest cousin. But no matter how giggly we went, in the end I really learned a lot. Techniques, teasing and sweet spots, but also how I could take control. I went home with a lot of confidence and surprised Armin the same evening with a tantalizing blowjob. He called it his best gift ever.

sex lesson

After that the fence of the dam was; Over the past year I have been looking for more courses. Particularly the one I could do with my partner. Erotic massages. Mindful lovemaking. Tantra sex. You name it or we’ve tried it, both online and in real life. Sometimes it was hilarious, but most of the time we really learned something from it. But above all, sex class proved to be the injection our sex life and relationship needed. I can honestly say that there has been much more connection, connection, surrender and deepening between us.”

This article was previously published in Kek Mama.

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