“Should my daughter continue to do a team sport?”
Patricia van Liemt is a radio host, writer and mother of Maria (11) and Phaedra (8). Every Friday she writes accurate, honest, funny and above all recognizable columns about her life and motherhood.
‘They have to play a team sport, because that makes them social…’
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It is a phrase that descends again into my life like a mantra. I can still hear my parents say it.
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horse girl
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I was a horse girl pur sang. It was love at first sight when I first sat down on this noble animal. Persuaded by my own mother. My sister wanted a trial lesson and I was (just not yet by my hair) dragged along. ‘John, come with me. You might like it too.’ My mother was in the category ‘offering many different sports’, but then what she served up. So I went to the riding school on a meaningless Thursday.
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I will never forget the moment I sat on the horse for the first time. It was magical. Even though I had no idea of the concept of synergy, it flowed through my body and the 600 kilos below me. We were one and this is was my new sport. My parents were slightly overwhelmed by my intense reaction to equestrian sport, but of course they couldn’t refuse.
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I counted down the days until the next lesson and soon I could be found in the stable every day.
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Read also
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‘Why I will never push my kids to play a sport’ >
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team sport
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Hockey became an obstacle and I wanted to get rid of it. Then parental authority came into play: I was only allowed to stay on horseback riding if I also stayed on hockey, because that was a team sport.
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And now I am faced with the same dilemma. My youngest daughter also wants to get rid of hockey. She wants to go on a street dance with a girlfriend. The first thing my husband said: ‘No, she has to keep doing a team sport!’
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A Pavlovian reaction followed and I put up a defense. But the strange thing is that at the same time I also thought: ‘Yes, that street dance is only an hour a week and has little social interaction outside of it.’ For a split second I understood my parents’ reaction, but I soon thought it was nonsense. Because what if we as parents overlook her dancing talent and she misses out on a wonderful dance career because of us? That would be antisocial.
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Moreover, I did not become a hockey star either, but on my 43rd, after a long detour, you will find me in the stable every day…
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More columns from Patricia? Every Friday there is a new column on KekMama.nl. Read the previous columns here.
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