Mum is a pilot: ‘On average I am gone five days in a row’

“’For days without your kids? I couldn’t.’ Now I put aside such a comment, but a few years ago I thought: shouldn’t I find it more difficult to leave my family behind? Pepijn was four when I left Europe for long-haul flights to Singapore and San Francisco, for example. On average I am gone five days in a row.

The beginning was just like at the reception: just bite the bullet, you get used to it quickly. That certainly applies to the children. They count the days on their fingers when I leave – as long as they know I’m coming back and Daddy, Grandpa or Grandma is there, it’s all right. Never has a single tear been shed. In fact, nowadays Maarten sometimes has to encourage them to give me a kiss. Better like this than upset, I guess. Because the children are in good hands, I leave with peace of mind.

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Pilot

In my uniform the mommy button goes off. Nothing is more beautiful than manually placing a Boeing 777 on the ground. Adrenaline through your body, heartbeat in your throat, bam: touchdown. I need my work to recharge and it is also good for the children that they are not glued to me. It makes them independent faster.

Pepijn proudly tells me that I am a pilot. You see people who know us vaguely think: he definitely means flight attendant. And then say, “Your daddy’s a pilot, isn’t he?” That’s right, but so is mom. When I explain that, they are amazed. And Pepijn finds that strange – isn’t it perfectly normal that both your parents are pilots? Three guesses what he himself wants to be.

Rhythm

Maarten also flies long distances. Most of the time we can match our schedules or else we blindly trust our parents. I rarely worry. If a child is sick I check my phone more often and in an emergency they still have to go to the GP.

Maarten and I have the deal that whoever comes home from flying is free as much as possible that day. So as soon as the children have seen my travel videos, I go to bed. Years ago I also flew internationally and I slept in endlessly. Since I became a mother, I only do a power nap, to quickly get back into the rhythm. The children also help with that, by the way. The next morning Emilie crawls into bed with me early: ‘You’re back!’”

This portrait is in Kek Mama 01-2022.

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