Families with a conviction: ‘We try to live according to the Ten Commandments as much as possible’

“A classmate asked me, ‘Will you come to church with me sometime?’ I attended a Christian school and also came into contact with the faith at home – especially through my mother – although it did not play an active role. I was quite curious, but immediately added: ‘It’s a one-time thing!’

That turned out to be different. Or how I see it: God had a different plan for me. He grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and hit me. It felt like coming home. As if I first found what I was looking for in my adolescence. Yet it is not something I try to convince others of. Faith is something very personal. We once handed out hot chocolate with a youth group around Christmas time to ‘evangelise’, but I just thought: what am I doing here?

Guidance

The Ten Commandments as they are found in the Bible are the guideline in my life, but also in that of my family. We try to live by those rules as much as possible. ‘Love your neighbors’ is one of the most important to me. I try to let that charity work through in everything, from the moment I step out the front door. I consciously choose to make myself useful in society and to help others who need it. It is not for nothing that I chose a job at a Christian mental health service and my husband works for the same employer.

“Fortunately, we weren’t judged as much as I initially thought.”

When I was 20, I married my high school sweetheart, whom I had met in church. Two years later we had our daughter, after ten years our second daughter. Our marriage unfortunately broke down after 16 years and we got divorced. I found that quite difficult, because I knew what the church thought about when you wanted to dissolve your marriage. Simply put, you don’t. Fortunately, our church was more understanding and we weren’t judged as much as I initially thought.

Children

I met my current husband through a Christian dating site. Now that we’re raising our kids together, it’s easy that we’re on the same page. For example, we both prefer not to have our children play computer games in which the opponent is supposed to be killed. We regularly read from the children’s bible, we go to church on Sundays outside corona time. We also pray before every meal and before going to bed. Although with the youngest I sometimes don’t have the idea that he understands what we are doing. He is very eager to start the prayer, because he knows that he may eat afterwards.

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December month

I try to make a kind of mood table at Easter or Christmas, so that we can look forward to that holiday together. Sinterklaas we hit this
years later, I got a bad taste of that because of that whole Zwarte Piet discussion. Instead we celebrated ‘December month’, with fun, presents, treats, lights and above all lots of love. I’d rather let Halloween pass. I can’t deal with severed heads, skulls and walking ghosts. But if, for example, my son comes home with an invitation to a Halloween party or when my daughter insists on going to the Fright Night wanted in Sixflags, I’ll explain what I don’t like about it, but will never stop them from going.

Own choices

My daughter is twenty and makes her own choices in life. For example, she got a boyfriend at a young age and is also sexually active. For Christians, sex is something you save for marriage. I can have an opinion about that, but I can also try to make her aware of her choices and the consequences without judgment. I said to her, ‘Are you safe? I don’t want to be a grandmother just yet!’”

This article appears in Kek Mama 13-2021.

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