Jealous exes: “Suddenly he always closes his apps with a kiss”

Soraya (40), stepmother of Odette (14) and Carmen (11), mother of Gregory (15 months): “’I’m a woman myself, I know exactly how women work’, I keep telling my friend Edgar. Every time we suddenly bump into Marty, his ex, she turns in front of him like a cat in heat. She cooed and flirted with him and twerked with her bottom. I think she wants him back.

I don’t think those chance encounters are coincidental at all anymore. Marty spontaneously appears at their daughters’ soccer practice, where Edgar used to be alone. She does groceries in the same supermarket and suddenly joins us at church every Sunday. Edgar shrugs at her behavior. But I never underestimate the power of a woman on a mission.”

Completely fed up

Sophie (34), mother of Douwe (14), Bouke (11) and Famke (9): “Every week when my ex Jan comes by for the kids, I put a lot of effort I do not live for you anymore by Marco Borsato op. Just to annoy him. Not only does he hate Borsato, I also let him know that I’m really tired of him by blaring along. Not nice, but it’s a relief.”

Active single life

Mandy (29), mother of Joshua (2.5): “Six days after Ray packed his bag and traded our owner-occupied home for the chick he’d fallen head over heels in love with, he came to pick up things. He cuddled with our son and had a cup of tea. Then he went to the attic, where next to the sports bags he needed, a red sexy lingerie set hung prominently on the clothesline. Brand new. I knew he had noticed, because when he came downstairs he immediately asked if I had had any visit from a man this week. I just smiled.

I had seen no other gentleman except my father, but he didn’t need to know that. I saw that he stiffened. Ray has always been very jealous. Even though he has someone else, he somehow finds it difficult that his son’s mother leads an active single life. Since then, every time he comes by, I subtly sling something reminiscent of an intense sex life; from an empty condom wrapper in the bathroom to a huge Valentine’s Day card (which I bought for myself).

Childish, but it helps me deal with the enormous shock of knowing he left me for his mistress. Ray therefore seems to come by more often. Whether it will help bring him back to his senses and return to us I don’t know, but I enjoy his extra attention.”

atoning sacrifice

Wanda (37), mother of Kai (16) and Lasse (8): “My son Kai was stunned by the unexpected gift he received from my ex-boyfriend on his 16th birthday. Kai hadn’t seen his former stepfather for months, but suddenly Jort showed up with a Canada Goose sweater for 335 euros. Kai was pleasantly surprised, I angry.

Jort and I have been together for four years and have an eight-year-old son, Lasse, whom he only picks up on Wednesday afternoons and every other week on Sundays. Our bond is bad. We only communicate with difficulty via app. He has a negative answer to everything I ask. Or rather: what I asked.

Since I have a new relationship, Jort is suddenly approachable. He wants to come to my house to zoom together for Lasse’s school talk and now invariably closes his text messages with a kiss. He also keeps telling Lasse that mom will always be his great love. The strangest action is the crazy expensive gift for Kai. I don’t see it as a sudden act of kindness. I know him too well. This atoning sacrifice is purely because I have another.”

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Who is that cutie?

Anoek (36), mother of Fleur (11) and Max (10): “In the 12 years we’ve been together, Mark never wanted to go out to dinner with me. Too expensive. Too boring. Exhausting. He liked getting Chinese and eating it at home just as well. He also never felt like doing anything with the kids and didn’t want to take days off for family activities. I was always the mother who went to the swimming pool alone with two toddlers or who walked behind the duo car in the Efteling. Mark would rather sleep on the couch than go to the cinema.

But since we’ve been separated for four years and Mark has Fleur and Max every other weekend, he’s turned out to be the most active, fun, involved dad. He takes them to the pizzeria and the Thai, goes bowling, supping, rollerblading and skiing with them. I am amazed every time. Sometimes I think: if only I had been so enthusiastic, we would never have split up.”

Nice and subtle

Jolanda (36), mother of Rico (11) and Joram (11): “‘Does she suck like that with you too?’ when I was just putting away the vacuum cleaner. Or something like: ‘Should your button be unbuttoned, Jolanda is a good sewer, but you probably already know that.’ In the beginning of my relationship with Ewoud, my ex couldn’t help but make ambiguous remarks every time he saw us together.

Rick was clearly tormented and showed it by reminding me of our old sex life every time he came to pick up the kids. It only stopped when I gently let him know that I found his so-called humorous comments a lot less funny. Although, sometimes Rick falls back into his old habit: ‘Gosh Jolanda, you used to be wetter from me than from such a rain shower’, he shouted recently when I came from outside. Then I just pretend I don’t hear it.”

As flexible as a stone

Sharon (42), mother of Maurice (13) and Danice (11): “Maarten and I have a pleasant co-parenting relationship. We both go week on week off. We live twenty minutes apart, with the children’s school in the middle. Sounds ideal, it often is. Only my ex has the flexibility of a stone. He doesn’t want to deviate. Holidays and public holidays are divided exactly according to the agreements in the parenting plan from 2011. We once agreed that we would not exchange days or weekends, to keep things as clear as possible for the children. That’s why family members have been celebrating their birthdays on my odd weekends for years so that Maurice and Danice can be there.

Now my new in-laws will have been married 50 years in October and have invited me and their bonus grandchildren over the autumn break for a week in Paris. Unfortunately, that’s just Maarten’s vacation and he doesn’t want to trade with a week in another vacation. And so the party is canceled for us. I suspect Maarten of a jealous action. He doesn’t have a new partner, it probably bothers him that the kids are doing something fun with my friend’s family. His arguments are also wrong. Our children are already so big, they can deviate from the fixed holiday schedule. But Maarten is adamant.”

This article can be found in Kek Mama 06-2021.

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