Parenting on holiday: do you let go of the reins or do you keep them short?
With children at home, even if you are a so-called Pippi Longstocking mother like Birgit, you always have something of a routine at home. And of course rules. But how do you do that with the upbringing on vacation? Do you let go of all the reins or do you just stay in the daily regime?
Birgit (28), mother of Loua (2) says:
“I’m an I-do-whatever-Pippi-Longkous-mother who occasionally tries very hard to bring some structure into the house. That’s because I’m a do-anything person myself. But with an unwise leaning towards the 3 R’s.
We both work from home so never have to be at the office on time. Loua goes to grandpa and grandma on Tuesday and then stays overnight, on Wednesday she goes to daycare. So the only ‘deadline’ we have is to pick up Loua on Wednesday somewhere between 5 and 6 pm. Then we usually make sure that they have already cooked and that she can go to bed early, because she is often exhausted from playing with her friends.
Read also: Nicolette Kluijver about motherhood: ‘I have to become stricter’
Contents
More of a guideline
There is really no more structure. We mainly look at Loua. She sleeps when she’s tired, she eats when she’s hungry. We’ve been doing this since she was a newborn. It’s not that we sit tight at the table at 5:30 PM and I turn off the lights at exactly 7:00 PM. Bedtime is more of a guideline. We try to put her to bed somewhere around 7:00 PM, but that can also be 10:00 PM. Or 6:00 PM.
So there are not many rules. Of course I want her not to be cheeky, clean up her toys and finish her plate. And I also try to manage the time she spends on her iPad a bit. But I also understand that we are dealing with a toddler.
Day structure
On vacation I also completely let go of that tiny bit of structure we have. Even more than at home, we live go with the flow and eat when we are hungry and sleep when they are tired. We have to, because on holiday we usually eat late and therefore go to bed later. Fortunately, we have a child who adapts easily and therefore sleeps a little longer the next day.
And guess what? According to experts, that’s totally fine. Children are very good at distinguishing between everyday life and holidays.
“I also understand that we are dealing with a toddler”
Don’t limit yourself too much
I think if you keep a strict regimen on holiday you also limit yourself. If you stick to all the sleeps exactly, you can never go away for a day or you’ll be eating in an empty restaurant in the sweltering heat. It is simply important that you take into account all members of the family and that you take a good look at your child. Of course you have to make sure that children do not get overtired. Then they become tired, lethargic or very hyper and they can get too little sleep. And then you’re only further away from home.
So don’t plan too many activities in a row, look at how your child is feeling and be flexible. If you want that from your child, you have to be that yourself. Are you once in that nice restaurant or did you actually want to go away for a day and see that your child is still very tired? Then keep it short or stay home and put him or her to bed as soon as possible. It’s a holiday for everyone.
“An apple juice for her, an Aperol Spritz for me please”
The same is true with food and drink. That’s the rule at our house: only water, tea and homemade smoothies and you taste everything before you say you don’t like it. Loua was also always quite a good eater, but now that she is in toddler puberty, she fishes the most microscopically small piece of vegetables out of her food.
On vacation I think it’s fine if she drinks an apple juice and eats a plate of dry rice (my child doesn’t like fries but loves rice) or spaghetti bolognese for the third day in a row. Of course I want her to get enough good nutrients, but on holiday I also feel free to order a pasta marinated in Parmesan cheese for the sixth day in a row and also tap away an Apero Roll Spritz every day. Isn’t that what vacation is for?
The only thing I don’t tolerate is when she gets rude. But I also know, as long as she isn’t overtired, it won’t bother us either. So when it comes to holidays, I let the reins relax. Oh, and screen time? When I’m on the plane to Bali for 16 hours, she can look until her eyes are square. I do everything for a nice flight.”
How do you handle it?
Would you like to read more beautiful and recognizable stories from fellow moms? Subscribe now and be the first to receive Kek Mama on your doormat every month.
