‘This baby just couldn’t wait to come’

Image: Laura Ponticorvo

How do you feel?
“So far I have had a very nice pregnancy. Above all, it goes incredibly fast; I can’t remember that I had such a big belly so quickly with Giulia (now 1.5, ed.). I already have trouble walking or getting off the couch and out of bed. Then I roll on my side like a seal and I really have to push myself up, haha. The pregnancy also flies by, because I don’t have time at all to be consciously pregnant all day long. I’m way too busy being a mom and running after my toddler.”

How does Giulia feel about becoming a big sister?
“Awesome! Every day she gives kisses on my stomach or gets a pet. I say: ‘That’s your little brother’ and she waves. She also keeps saying ‘baby, baby’. She’s going to be a great big sister.”

Do you have any crazy cravings that require Ryan to run to the store in the evening?
“I have no cravings at all. Those hormones are not that intense for me. I do have aversion. I always love pizza, except when I’m pregnant. If I even think about it… gawd! I hardly eat candy or chips either. I eat mostly vegetables and pasta. I still like that, haha. My husband cooks very well for me. Very sweet.”

Getting pregnant is not obvious to you. What went through your mind when you held a positive test in your hands?
“I was shocked. Didn’t see it coming that way. It took a long time for Giulia to arrive. Getting pregnant was difficult, a fertility process preceded it. That’s why I always thought: with a second one we have to go back into that medical mill. The wish for another child was certainly there, but I thought: it will come. I just thought it was strange that I suddenly stopped having my period. Only after a week I did a test, ‘just to be sure’. Turns out I was already three weeks pregnant! I could hardly believe it was so easy now. I mean, I work full time, we already have a little one running around… we don’t have that much time to go wild in the bedroom. It was one lucky shot, haha. Now I think: this baby just couldn’t wait to come. Very special.”

You recently wrote to all wishing mothers: ‘I hope my posts don’t make you sad’.
“I know what it’s like when that biggest wish just doesn’t come true. I also had the fear; maybe it will never work out, I will remain childless forever. That caused a lot of tension. In my body and my relationship. In my area, one after the other immediately became pregnant. Jesus, how do those people do that, I thought. It made me jealous and also sad. Yet I have managed to convert those feelings into: how wonderful that it is so easy for you. Otherwise you will get some kind of negative vibe’je over you, that doesn’t cooperate with your wish either. By being happy for others, I became more and more relaxed myself.”

How do you do that?
“Sounds easier than it is. People always told me, ‘You have to let it go’. I then thought: how can you let go of something you want so badly? But it did help me not to be so focused and to think: I have this yet not. Although it might have helped that I had all the luck of bonus children (Ryan has three children from a previous relationship, ed.).”

“We don’t have that much time to go wild in the bedroom; it was one lucky shot”

Giulia was delivered at 34 weeks after you were admitted with HELLP syndrome. Does that make this pregnancy extra exciting?
“I do get extra attention, so I have to check every three weeks. I also take extra calcium and blood thinners, so you seem to be able to prevent such a serious blood poisoning. I am very positive; Now that I feel so good, I actually realize how bad I felt that first pregnancy. Then I retained a lot of fluid, my blood pressure was sky high and I felt the baby much less. This baby is growing well, that gives peace. Still, I’m really looking forward to those 34 weeks and two days. If I save it, is that cause for celebration.”

“I also had the fear; maybe it will never work, I will remain childless forever”

Laura is silent for a moment and continues: “The previous pregnancy ended so abruptly. I hadn’t washed any clothes yet, I felt that the anticipation of being pregnant had only just begun… I suddenly had a baby in an incubator. That’s why it can’t take me long enough now. I’m really looking forward to becoming a kind of waddling duck, haha.”

Are you setting an example for other mothers by being so open?
“I hope so. I got a lot of DMs from women who recognized themselves in that jealousy, who are hardly on social media anymore because they can’t handle all those announcements anymore. That they liked that I shook them awake. I also get a lot of messages from women who don’t dare to have a second child after such a severe preeclampsia. The wish is there, but the fear is greater. I hope I can show that things can be done differently. That there is a very good chance that things will go well and that I can inspire women to follow their wishes after all.”

What we all want to know of course… the name! Do you already have them?
“’Lau, if we ever have a boy, we’ll name him…’ Ryan suddenly said last year. And I knew immediately: this is the name, if we were allowed one day. Four months later I was pregnant. The name not only sounds beautiful, but also has a meaning that fits us and our story. So we have not had such a name discussion. Fortunately, because I’ve heard him say names of which I thought: no way, that I’m going to name my child that, haha.