‘No time for yourself with a baby? Know it’s normal ‘

Katie has three children, the oldest two of whom go to school and the youngest is almost one. “Finally there is some light at the end of the tunnel,” she says. ‘And by that I mean: my life will soon be a bit more normal again. Our youngest is getting older and that means that there is a little more structure in the chaos. ‘

Life upside down

As an expert by experience, Katie knows better than anyone that having a baby turns your whole life upside down. “Whether you become a mother for the first time, or for the second or third time,” she says, “it doesn’t matter. You just can’t possibly keep all the balls in the air: taking care of your baby, working, running the household and living another social life. Because when you have a baby, you are on it 24/7. You literally can’t do anything else. ‘

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With her first and second children, Katie felt guilty about that. ‘But now I know that it is nonsense to set high expectations for yourself (or other mothers). Taking care of a baby is a hell of a job. Your body is not the same, you miss sleep and you are constantly ‘on’. ‘
So it makes sense, says Katie, that you can’t do everything on your to-do list – as you used to. “Look for ways to make things more convenient and don’t think about it,” she suggests. “As long as your baby is fed and given love, it will be fine.”

Quality time

Small side note: from a practical point of view, it is of course not ideal to let things go. “But that’s just the way it is,” says Katie. ‘You shouldn’t want to outdo yourself with a baby at home. Invest in time as a couple – I cuddle my baby for two hours and read books with her, instead of working or cleaning. And no, I’m not ashamed of that. The rest will all come back as soon as the little one becomes a bit bigger and more independent.