“Family thought it was worrying that we took them out of school”
Image: Getty Images
If you approach things a little differently at home than the average mother, you can bet you’ll get comments on that. So Lianne once again explains why she chose unschooling with full conviction.
Lianne: “Recently we watched the movie Sluimerland. In it, a girl is talking to her uncle and it is said that school is like a prison. “That’s right,” said my eldest. “Why did you let me go to school for so long?” Yes, I was glad to hear that because it strengthened my belief that we made the right decision to unschool our daughters Livia (11) and Belle (9).
Homeschooling
We moved with our family from the Netherlands to Portugal last year, partly because traditional education does not fit our ideals. The Dutch government has established a program with what children should learn and at what pace. They are tested on that and if your child does not fully fit in, he, she or them will have a pretty tough time.
“Our youngest didn’t always enjoy going to school; she didn’t want to eat breakfast and it gave her a stomach ache.”
Our youngest didn’t always enjoy going to school; she didn’t want to eat breakfast and it gave her a stomach ache. Of course I talked to the school. Despite minor adjustments in the guidance at school, Belle regularly preferred to stay at home. Unfortunately, homeschooling in the Netherlands is quite complicated, and a lot easier in Portugal. During one of the lockdowns, my husband and I fantasized out loud: what if we pick up Livia and Belle from school and buy a piece of land in the Portuguese countryside, surrounded by nature?
Another road
I felt very strongly that we should go down this road, but explain that to those around you. That turned out to be complicated. My family was worried, “How are you going to do, school-wise?” and ‘How do you make sure you don’t sit alone on a mountain and the children don’t see anyone anymore?’
That sometimes made me rebellious. In the beginning I mainly wanted to convince people. Not out of uncertainty, but because we wanted everyone to be as excited as we are. Initially, we didn’t share, tone down, or otherwise portray certain details. For example, I said that we would first properly orientate ourselves in the field of school, looking for alternative educational options, but it was immediately clear to us that we would opt for unschooling.
Read also – ‘Should I force my son (4) to go to school?’ >
Self directed learning
Via social media I take my environment into our adventure. Now they see how well self-directed learning suits Livia and Belle. During the first months in Portugal, they did not have to do anything about school. This way they could let go well, step out of ‘having to learn’. They went through a whole process from boredom to: what do I want to learn myself? And also: what am I curious about? Our eldest wants to become a writer and is now working on her first book, about our emigration. It’s up to me to guide her through that. To create an environment in which she can develop optimally.
I believe that all children have potential in their own way and it is up to us to fan those flames. For example, we speak English at dinner these days, as Livia and Belle would like to get a better grasp of the language in order to converse with their new friends: the children of like-minded British families in our neighbourhood.
Quality time
Although I spend a lot of time supervising my daughters’ unschooling, I notice that I now have more time for myself. To set up an educational project, but also to relax in the sun, on the terrace of the yurt where we live. There is also more quality time for our family. They used to go to school and I went to my work as a pedagogue and child therapist. The few hours we had together, we mainly spent on swimming, gymnastics and ballet lessons. I was always running, always busy.
“There is more quality time for our family. Before, they went to school and I went to work”
Now the girls run through our forest, collect deadwood and take care of our kids. And recently they enjoyed baking pancakes for our breakfast. I really enjoy that, because I give my children exactly what I want them to be: a happy childhood in which they can discover who they are and where their interests lie at their own pace.”
87% of mothers in the Netherlands have to deal with mom shaming, according to research by Kek Mama. The editors found this so shocking that they started a campaign: Kek Mama launches mombracing, the counterpart of momshaming, and calls on all mothers to support each other instead of criticizing from now on.
Post Views: 0
