Patricia gets excited: ‘What do you think the vegan kids got? A damn Yonagold apple!’
Patricia van Liemt is a radio presenter, writer and mother of Maria (12) and Phaedra (9). Every Friday she writes striking, honest, funny and above all recognizable columns about her life and motherhood.
We’ve been officially vegetarian for about four months now. But God, it’s so hard for me sometimes not to eat pigs and cows. I especially find the rethinking of the cooking ritual enormous challenge. I’m trying to navigate my way into a world of soybeans, humus and
pearl couscous. I also regularly panic in the supermarket when I stand in front of the shelf of meat substitutes. The choice is huge, from ‘shawarma meat’ to grilled pieces.
“I’m trying to navigate my way through a world of soybeans, humus and pearl couscous”
Grilled what?
But wait, grilled bits? Grilled bits what? Apparently I asked out loud, because one, what I’m guessing fellow vegetarian, caught my distraught and told me that they slowly want to move to other names. I immediately had many more questions than I had originally had with the ‘grilled bits’. Because who the hell are they’? It meat substitute oracle next to me unfortunately had no answer to that.
She did tell me that (by now this group of people had turned into one in my head secret society of meat substitutes formed) would like us ‘normal vegetarian mortals’ to associate meat substitutes differently. No more with animals. So as new born vegetarians we have to make do with indefinable foods that listens to the name ‘grilled pieces’. Help!
Pact with the bio-devil
A little later, very disappointed in myself, I walked out with another pasta and a mess of vegetables that were forced to disappear together in a pan later that evening. When I took my children, perhaps a little too honestly, into the misery behind the bio-industry four months ago, neither of them touched meat anymore. Even if I tell them that they can eat fine meat when they are with other children or, for example, with grandpa and grandma, they look at me as if I made a pact with the bio-devil.
‘No mom, we don’t want any more meat! You told yourself how sad it is for the animals.’ Well, something with a cookie and your own dough. But this week I had doubts for the first time whether I had done the right thing as a mother. We are on a skiing holiday and at noon the ski classes have lunch together in a large canteen. Then you can indicate whether you want to eat ‘regular’, i.e. burgers and fries or whether you are vegetarian.
Damn Jonagold
My kids have of course signed up as vegetarians. But if you then think that you want to make the world a little better by not eating meat, you will also be severely punished as a child. Because the ‘normal-eating-kids’ got a Mars (!) for dessert and what do you think the vegan kids got? An Apple. A damn Jonagold apple! (sorry apple you are very tasty but compared to mars? Come on)
You understand that my two children were tested quite a bit. Proud as a peacock I was when they told me honestly that they really didn’t like it, but still went for the vegetarian option. That afternoon we went to the supermarket for a pack of Mars to fetch. The XL version. Eat your heart out. Phew!
Would you rather listen to Patricia’s column? Which can. Every Friday between 2 and 4 pm she reads it on Wild FM.
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