“Which motherfucker calls her kids Bodi and Daaf?”

There is no one as hard on a mother as another mother. For months I have noticed that online criticism goes far.

That scares me.

Because no matter how we interpret it, motherhood: we all do our best. We all do what we think is best for our children. And of course we differ as mothers – and that is allowed. Still, I don’t know what I’m reading. I get so many ugly comments about how I am as a person, as a mother to Bodi and Daaf, it’s sickening.

Comments

For months I’ve been writing columns for Kek Mama about my life as a twin mother and what it’s like to be pregnant again. Sometimes I write it with a wink, sometimes I pick up on a serious subject. But I can’t get it right quickly. A selection of the comments under my personal stories, which I write with great love and care, always with a heart full about my boys, my husband and my life as a working mother:

‘Kakmadam feels far superior to the plebs because it comes from the Gooi’

‘The question is of course: How do 2 people come up with the ‘names’ Bodi and Daaf?’

“Maybe your therapist has some space left to discuss it again”

‘Have children because it should or ‘for the sake of it’?’

‘But don’t be surprised if you don’t have a “warm” relationship with your kids because you were barely or not present in their lives’

‘Pity her children. She had better get a goldfish.’

“Disgusting mother you are. Egoist’

‘You can talk about the much too expensive unnecessary stuff she bought, but that boy has to introduce himself later at the office as Daaf, right?’

‘And then I read that they are 3 years old, what do you mean a diaper???’

“This woman… can’t do it. Really insecure, and just complaining…and asking for confirmation.’

‘Anything for the likezzzzzzz. Moron bitch.’

It hurts

Online criticism can hurt. Usually I don’t even read the comments on Facebook when I’ve written a column. But sometimes yes. Of course everyone is allowed to express their opinion and I am making myself vulnerable by sharing things from my life with others on the internet. I choose that myself. But I hope that mothers can appreciate each other more. What good is it for you to criticize someone for her choice of name? Do you feel better if you’ve been mean to someone else?

Think before you throw a fierce reaction into the air on social media. There is always a real mother behind it, who just does her best in life and has her insecurities and feelings. As mothers, we need support from each other, not criticism. Even though we all do it differently.

Next month Kek Mama will be in the theme of mombracing: be kind to someone else instead of momshaming them. That makes the world so much more fun.

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