About the top parties: ‘Can it be a little less?’

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Parents who pull out all the stops for a children’s party: Francien doesn’t really want to get carried away by it. But that takes some discipline.

Eating unlimited fries from twelve to seven, going to the amusement park with all your girlfriends, or inviting the whole class to your party. What’s next? A week at Center Parcs? Disneyland weekend? Is it just me or are we trying to outdo each other as parents when it comes to children’s parties? Each and every one of them is a huge success, according to my children Eefje (8) and Rosie (6). And as a mother, also master of ceremonies of their editions, I have to match that.

Celebrate small

I prefer to celebrate our daughters’ birthdays small. Nice and cozy in our own cocoon, I like that. Nice breakfast, good gift. Child happy. Parents too, because the child is covered with a gift. We usually do that intimate celebration of those birthdays, but that doesn’t mean we get out of those damn children’s parties. And I think that’s a good thing. I experience a very high bar in this, although I am probably the one who sets it for me. But yes, other parties just come across as slightly intimidating to me.

“I experience a very high bar in organizing parties, although I am probably the one who sets it for me”

I give my children the world, and I really let them grow a year older with a lot of fanfare. It just takes a lot of creativity, headspace and arranging every year. In addition, it costs claws with money. The children are of course worth every euro, but still. It’s always hard to swallow when you have to tick off the whole circus.

In that respect, I am glad that I only have to work twice a year. Although we have spread the births of our children very badly: their birthdays are four days apart. Fortunately, in the month of May, so we can quickly replenish the plundered bank account with some holiday money.

Do it yourself

Maybe I’m just making it too hard on myself. Because I am that mother who, just a little too forced and too loud, says: “No, we just do the children’s parties at our house, cozy. Staff? Are you crazy. I’ll fix it on my own!” And I would prefer it not to be too expensive, if possible somewhat healthy and sustainable and oh yes, not too complicated. At the same time it has to be festive and cozy and also a bit original.

I always make preparations at the last minute. Or well, actually often just after the last minute. I often put together treats for school the same morning. I’ve also drawn a treasure map late into the night for a party. And last year the crafts we would make as an activity were only delivered a day after the party.

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The party committee

At another children’s party, we had barely completed the move before the party committee had to take action again. I barely had room in my head to think about it. The new garden was big enough to hide a treasure in it, so I’d come up with something. Games, treasure hunt, crafts, food, done.

“Preferably a kit that requires as little work as possible for you as a supervisor. Because yes, as a fanatical I-arrange-this-myself-mother, of course I don’t have much room to help”

Fortunately, my girls are the kind that really like to make something at their parties. But because I’m not such a fröbel mother, I like to order something ready-made online. Preferably a kit / painting / keychain that is completely pre-punched and that requires as little work as possible for you as a supervisor. Because yes, as a fanatical I-arrange-this-myself-mother, of course I don’t have much room to help. I have to deal with lemonade, sausage, ice cream and leftovers of decorated cake (often mixed up).

Barely

The last time the preparations, which I traditionally started quite late, went fairly smoothly. The ordered fröbelmeuk also arrived on time. Only the birdhouses that still had to be finished were almost microscopic. This made no sense. That’s what you get if you want to sit in the ringside for a dime.

The shops were already closed, but if I managed to find something this evening that I would have in my house the next day, it should be fine. Yes, it worked! Mugs from paw patrol which the party animals had to paint themselves. Loved my daughter paw patrol? Mwah. Did that matter? Not me, because there were just enough and available at the right time. That’s how it all ended with a fizzle, the children unanimously thought it was fantastic, luckily. My stress level had peaked nicely again.

playground

At times like this I honestly wonder why those parties actually have to be ‘just nice at our house, cozy’. My problem is: I just hate indoor playgrounds too much. I really like that my girls are taken there by everyone, I just don’t like going there myself. Afterwards I am just as overstimulated as all the children in the ball pit together and that doesn’t make me a nicer mother. I would do almost anything for my children, but my limit is before the entrance to the indoor playground.

I can prepare whatever I want, the most successful elements at such a party are often just the things I didn’t do anything for. With seven children at the same time on the trampoline, the playground halfway through the treasure hunt or at another party: the stepping stones in the puddle behind our house. Huge hit!

“Only one child had fallen into the water, quite a good score”

Okay, one girl had fallen into the water, but I think that’s quite a good score for a group of six. Of course I felt really stupid. The girl who had fetched the wet suit was allowed to take a bath at our house right away. When I joined her in the bathroom she looked at me with a wide grin and said: “I’m lucky because I don’t have a bath at home. This is really a fun party!” My guilt evaporated immediately, because even she was having a good time.

The birthday boy

In my opinion, how much time and money you put into such a party is not necessarily the measure for the birthday job/jet itself. “Children are sometimes so ungrateful at a party,” a friend said to me recently. To be honest, I think that’s not too bad if you organize a party with love, attention and fun. If I’m sighing and groaning while frying the burgers while barking or turning it down a bit, kids don’t like that, no. But when I jokingly make a crazy ketchup figure, they think it’s funny. As long as I stay a little relaxed myself, the kids are too.

party jar

Kimberley also relies on her creativity when it comes to parties. She is a single mother of four children between the ages of 4 and 9 and has a small budget.

“I don’t want to deny my kids their party, but I can hardly afford it. I have a special ‘party jar’ where we do birthdays, presents, Sinterklaas and stuff like that. If there are two children’s birthdays in one month, it cannot be deducted from my monthly budget. By setting aside a little bit every month, we can still celebrate. I determine in advance how much money we spend on a birthday and also look at how we can reuse things in, for example, crafts.

“I don’t want to deprive my kids of their party, but I can hardly afford it”

Nine-year-old Mike no longer likes to do crafts and he doesn’t think a party alone in a playground is cool anymore. He really likes to play football. And so we did a little tournament on his birthday with his best friends. All you need is a ball and a field. And of course some food and drink, but that doesn’t have to cost a lot. The boys all enjoyed it and spent the afternoon doing what they love most: playing football. I always provide something tasty, but never give anything home. Then it quickly becomes too expensive and very honestly: is that really necessary?

The party bag

I also have trouble with ‘the party bag’. That plastic bag partygoers get to take home with sweets, a toy you can’t use and a bouncy ball that’s designed to be lost in five minutes. When the children go home, they have already had a whole party with catering and festivities. Besides, it’s not their birthday. So why also take a gift bag home?

But yes, because almost all parents do this, it also feels a bit stingy not to give anything. Only, for a well-filled bag you can easily tap off a few euros per child. That’s why I’m glad I can (still) get away with tinkering during the party. Everyone can take home their own work of art. My daughter still likes to drink from that ugly one paw patrol-cup.

Read also – How much money do you spend on a gift for a children’s party >

Outsource

Once, when the youngest turned five, a death in the family suddenly prevented me from attending her children’s party. Fortunately, my husband, also the father of the child in question, was there to host the party and a friend hooked up to help. When we were reunited in the evening, my daughter sighed: “This was the best party ever.” I can’t deny that that hurt a little bit, because I was of course the big absentee myself. But I was happy and grateful that the party could continue and that my baby had enjoyed it.

“’This was the best party ever’, she said when I was absent”

For Merel, mother of two boys aged 8 and 11, outsourcing is less of an issue. “My husband and I both have busy jobs and I hate children’s parties. Fortunately, we have a fantastic au pair who thinks the only thing is to tow a group of hyperactive boys. I don’t care what she comes up with, if my sons have a nice party, I’m actually okay with it. She organizes the laser tag, paintball or whatever – and I pay. That’s the deal. I love that it can be done this way and my boys are guaranteed to have a successful party. I don’t feel guilty about this. Because I work so hard, I can give them a lot. I’d rather do something else with them.”

On your own way

In short: everyone does it in their own way. If I’m getting myself excited by organizing a party ‘nice at our house, cozy’, then that’s totally fine. Do others prefer an indoor shriek palace? Very nice!

The trick is not to be intimidated, but perhaps to be inspired by other parents. And another important lesson that I draw for myself from all previous children’s parties: next time really start preparing on time.

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