‘How much we have to organize’
Patricia van Liemt is a radio presenter, writer and mother of Maria (12) and Phaedra (9). Every Friday she writes striking, honest, funny and above all recognizable columns about her life and motherhood.
I don’t know about you, but mine mom guilt comes around the corner a little harder than usual around the holidays. Because, we parents have to organize a ridiculous amount of things. It all starts in November.
Sigh
‘Oh, so you don’t make lanterns at school anymore? But why not? Because you’re already in 6th grade? But the whole class will still walk, won’t it, honey? Jeez, why did the teacher decide this’, I sigh on November 11 at 7:00 am at a chaotic breakfast table. The request is whether I still want to buy one. ‘And don’t forget the batteries, mom…’, my daughter calls after me as I wave her goodbye, clutching a sandwich in my mouth, a coffee to go in one hand and my laptop bag in the other. Shit. I just have to go to the office.
Read also: These Christmas failures of help parents at school are to screech
Surprise madness
Well, it’s December.
It starts with St. Thank goodness my youngest is a kind of supercreabea and managed to fabricate a life-size Hello Kitty all on her own this year. She did that so well that I was afraid that ‘they’ would say that I was her fixed had helped. To prevent that, I made the surprise a little uglier the night before she brought it to school (no kidding, but I did play with the idea seriously).
“And afterwards, as a parent, you are expected to come and have a drink in the schoolyard in the freezing cold”
Christmas sweaters and mini pizzas
All right, and then it’s Christmas. Ahhhh. We need: (sustainable) ugly Christmas sweaters or onesies, Christmas trees made of cucumber (how?), cola (seriously, shall I also give you a vape?), a gift for Secret Santa with a poem (but we had that with Sinterklaas, right? already done?), mini vegan pizza for Christmas dinner (where only the fathers – nice and gender neutral – are allowed to serve). And afterwards, as a parent, you are expected to come and have a drink with fellow sufferers in the schoolyard in the freezing cold. To top it all off (category 5), you have to pick up your child three hours earlier than usual by car on the last day of school because all your child’s tinkering can go home again.
But, but… I also just have to work.
Would you rather listen to Patricia’s column? Which can. Every Friday between 2 and 4 pm she reads it on Wild FM.
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