Keep the sex exciting? This is how these mothers handle it

If we’re not careful, sex becomes the last thing on the to-do list. And that is not necessary at all. This is how other mothers keep things exciting in the bedroom.

The TV out

Bart (39), 2 sons aged 9 and 6.

“Last month we threw the TV out of the bedroom and the new rule became: our bed can only be used for sex and sleeping. It works: those two activities have been almost inextricably linked ever since.”

Fixed weekend seesaw

Dagmar (39), 3 children aged 5, 3 and six months.

“Boring, but effective: Pascal and I put sex on the agenda. With a job, busy social life, three children and chronic sleep deprivation, we otherwise skip sex far too easily. Sometimes I get the same feeling prior to the regular weekend seesaw as I did my mandatory weekly run. Don’t feel like it, tired, hungry for a glass of wine and chips (also very tasty). Then the sofa or my bed beckons. But just like with jogging, the following applies to sex: beforehand you don’t feel like it, afterwards you are glad you did it. And I promise myself: I must do that more often.”

Apps

Stéphanie (27), son of 4.

“Bauke’s apps have a specific tune. I start to blush when I hear his ringtone, because I know what that means. Bauke sends me a naughty app every day: ‘You looked so horny, it still makes me hard.’ Or, “If you smile at me once tonight, I’ll tear you apart,” accompanied by ambiguous emoticons. Or he sends me racy photos of himself, taken quickly on the toilet at work.

His apps ensure continuous foreplay. The other day Bauke took pictures while I gave him a blowjob. I had completely forgotten about them and unsuspectingly showed my girlfriend pictures of the holidays. She could laugh about it, I felt like a caught teenager.”

Ice cubes and whips

Allison (38), 2 daughters aged 7 and 5.

“I’m definitely not a submissive wife, but Bram and I have been doing soft SM since the Fifty Shades movies. Bram is the dominant one: he punishes me and is the boss in bed. We use handcuffs, leather, rubber, whips and ice cubes. But it is not the case that I arrive at the schoolyard with the welts on my neck.”

Fantasy

Martine (47), children aged 10 and 8.

“Marc and I don’t think anything is too crazy. Vibrators, handcuffs, whipped cream, fun condoms – we’ve tried it all. And we have our imagination. Marc reads erotic stories, watches soft porn and shares his most exciting thoughts with me. We dream about uninhibited sex. With a woman. Multiple people at once. That he ties me to the bed with a blindfold on.

It happens that we are busy and Marc asks me with whom I would really like to do it. Then we fantasize about befriended couples and how we would ask. The idea alone is so exciting.”

Early to bed

Ilse (42), twins of 9.

“Our trick: go to bed nice and early. Fuck the pile of laundry, the bags to pack and there’s a button on the TV. If we don’t, nothing will happen.”

Lock the door

Nathalie (39), two children aged 12 and 10.

“When we are really excited, Roel and I run to the bathroom. It is wonderful to soap each other, the splashing water blocks noises and it is the only door in the house that can be locked.”

Frying and fiddling

Danique (39), four children aged 9, 5, 3 and 1.

“It is after four difficult deliveries down under quite painful for me and our sex life changed dramatically. We make love in different ways now: much more with our fingers, body and mouth. The penetration ban has made us very creative. It feels like we’re just dating and just messing around. But I will keep this fidgeting and fiddling, even when everything works fine again. The journey there is just as enjoyable as the destination.”

Read also: Our broken sex life: ‘If I give him a kiss unexpectedly, he will reject me hard’

In the open air

Claudia (29), daughter of 2.

“As soon as the mercury rises above fifteen degrees, Thom and I look for a nice place to make love. My top three: the Ferris wheel, an inflatable boat at sea, the dunes.”

Have a lot of fun

Renate (29), son of 2.

“Mainly have a lot of fun. For us, sex is like eating, drinking and sleeping. One time it’s just fucking for pleasure, the other time we take the time for it. We regularly find ourselves in a dent about crazy positions – the Kamasutra is really too high for us – and make jokes in between. Afterwards we always chat and smoke a cigarette together.”

joint

Jaimie (30), 2 children aged 6 and 2.

“A year ago, Niek and I discovered how good a joint is before we make love. You immediately relax and all brakes are released. I’m afraid I screamed the whole neighborhood together that first time. Our sex was already good, but this really was heaven on earth. Since then we’ve been taking a weed more often. As soon as the kids are in bed, we sit down for it. We take a few puffs, massage each other with oil and the lethargic feeling takes care of the rest.”

salsa lessons

Chantal (29), daughter of 3.

“Daan and I have recently taken salsa lessons. That weekly hour of dancing is invariably continued in bed. I only have to hear that sensual, exciting music and I’m going to flirt with him. If Daan feels like it, he only has to click on Luis Enrique.”

Be right back

Leonie (44), 2 children aged 11 and 9.

“Sex has been on the back burner for the past year. To get some fire back, we spent the whole weekend with grandpa and grandma last month. We checked into a hotel, went out for dinner, some good wine and then a bath together. Dennis lit dozens of tea lights and conjured up a nice bottle of oil with which he massaged me extensively. We barely got out of bed for the rest of the weekend. Delicious.”

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