“No parent is perfect. And certainly not on vacation’

Patricia van Liemt is a radio host, writer and mother of Maria (12) and Phaedra (9). Every Friday she writes accurate, honest, funny and above all recognizable columns about her life and motherhood.

Have you ever been on holiday with another family? And I mean consciously. Planned. because you viben and the children behave decently towards each other. That work. A plan that often arises during a drink, when the children secretly steal the iPhones from the table because it is getting old-fashioned late. With us, those are the evenings when someone takes the initiative and throws in the group that a holiday together is ‘fun’. That same week the plan is made concrete and before you know it tickets and a chalet have been booked.

Nice holiday together

And then I immediately start to have some doubts. But I’ve been there myself. Because just like with cheating, there is no excuse: enough decision moments have preceded it. Then the ultimate moment is there: having a nice holiday together. Only Daantje has slept badly and the whole flight is a dragon. His mother calmly opens part six of The Seven Sisters and lets Daantje be a nice child. The men are busy talking and the wait at the car rental seems to last three summers. Oh God. Two weeks to go.

parenting skills

When Maria and Phaedra were babies and our friends had babies too, it was all pretty peaceful. There was at most some criticism of the sleeping times of the traveling companions, but otherwise you were mainly in the same phase of discovery and there was a neutral ground for adversarial questions about baby issues.

But as the children get older, parenting skills become more diverse. Because Sophietje can say that her parents have to be quiet because she is talking. Bram insists on a main course that costs as much as your starter and main course together. And Coen doesn’t want to go to bed, because they had promised a ‘delicious dessert’ and the fresh ice cream from the Italian ice cream parlor is not what he pleases.

Also read – ‘We use more screen time on holiday’ >

Self-reflection

Besides marveling at some of my friends’ pedagogical choices, I overcompensate on my own children. Like ‘that’s how it should be’, really stupid. When my husband and I are in bed at night, we gossip about our friends’ pedagogical mistakes. But we also do a round of self-reflection and ask ourselves what comments they have on us. No parent is perfect. And certainly not on vacation. Hello, it’s vacation for us too.

“I am going to overcompensate on my own children. Like ‘that’s how it should be’, really really stupid”

I get a text from my girlfriend. Would we like to go away for a week together? I answer with ‘nice!’ But I will immediately add that we are booking our own house this year…

This article is featured in the Kek Mama Summer Special of 2022.

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