‘Why I never want to say goodbye to the baby phase’
Remember that time when your tiny baby is glued to you and completely dependent on you? If it’s up to Samm Davidson, that period will never end. “That they don’t wipe your kisses or push you away, but surrender completely to you.”
When her fourth and youngest child starts talking, Samm feels sadness rising. She has a hard time letting go of the baby phase, but knows it’s the last time for her. “I love the smooth skin and little toes of a baby. The lashes that are perfectly curled and the wonderful smell of the hair,” says Samm. When her youngest child lies with her, she feels nothing but happiness and peace. She can watch her baby for hours. “A yawn, a sneeze and the stretching: I can’t get enough of it.”
Guilty
Although Samm doesn’t want this phase to pass, she also feels guilty about her grief. She is also grateful for the children she has had and is impressed by who they are now. “It may be selfish to be sad about this, but I can’t help it. I just want more of this happiness.” Despite the chaos and fatigue life with a baby brings, Samm is most comfortable in the baby phase. “It calms me down: the bond with your baby is just so pure and intense.”
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Gratitude
Since it’s the last time Samm will have a baby, she decides to be extra grateful. “I try to look forward to the phases of my children to come. They can eat, drink and walk in it, but they can also change and grow.” Samm knows that she will encounter this particular happiness of caring for a baby at another time in her life. “I know that one day I will experience it in other areas as well. But not today.”
Source: Scary Mommy
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