‘Who gets mad at a baby? All the tiredness came out in one fell swoop’
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In a fit of exhaustion, forget to bring an extra shirt or get mad at your sadistic baby. It’s something: that parenting.
Britt (34) lives with Marco (38) and is mother of Luca (1).
“I thought it was just fiddling, breastfeeding, but when I finally got the hang of it after a few weeks, I decided to continue. Even when Luca got teeth. “You’re crazy,” friends judged. But I fluttered with wisdom like ‘if you put them on right, they won’t bite’ and ‘in nature, children drink from their mother for years, even if they switch’. Not that I intended to do that, by the way.
Sadistic baby
Luca couldn’t sleep through the night, so at about eight months all breastfeeding was no longer such a breeze. Dead tired, I fed him on such a sleepy night, when he suddenly bit me hard in the nipple with a big grin.
My deafening ‘ouch!’ Luca thought it was so hilarious, he almost choked on his sip. But I could cry, and I did. Enraged, I put him in the pile of pillows on my bed, and sat with my back to him, whining. Who gets mad at a baby, but all the tiredness came out in one fell swoop.
Only then did Marco wake up. “You go to sleep, I’ll take him with me,” he said. After which I slept until ten o’clock. Which Luca saved on a bowl of full yogurt just fine. So zen, such a Sunday morning.”
Read also – Parenting bloopers: ‘I was sitting there, feeding our son with a whipped cream syringe’ >
New job
Loes (32) is married to Martin (39) and mother of Jeppe (3).
“Applying when you have just given birth is never a good idea. At least, if breastfeeding has not yet been arranged properly.
Of course I thought it was a bit fast, three weeks after the birth of Jeppe already for an interview. But I had sent a letter of application with my stupid head two weeks before the due date; this was simply a dream feature. I had been honest about my new motherhood, but I hadn’t thought about the consequences. I knew a lot.
What are you staring at?
While Martin stayed with Jeppe, I jumped into a blouse and skirt for the first time in weeks. I would be gone for an hour and a half at the most, it should work, it seemed to me. Shopping on my own went well, didn’t I?
“I did notice that the receptionist stared at my breasts rather unabashedly”
I walked in at the agreed time and hung up my coat. I did notice that the clerk stared at my breasts rather unabashedly. What a bummer, I thought. Until I looked down and saw a large, round see-through spot on my right breast.
“If you don’t mind, I’d rather put my coat back on,” I stammered, my heartbeat racing. The boss I had the conversation with couldn’t help but laugh about it. So hard, in fact, that I had the job that same day.”
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