‘We shot full during the shoot’

Image: Kee & Kee

Girlfriends Kim Kötter and Kirsten Schilder are fond of their men, but they don’t want to think about having to do without each other. “I immediately trusted her and that is unique in this media world.”

Kim is just putting the finishing touches to the hot chocolate when Kirsten – with a bag full of pastries from the Volendam bakery – arrives on time. No surprise, according to Kim, because Kirsten is a woman of the clock. And that while she is still in her maternity weeks, or what do you call that when you just got a puppy?

Although the family had long dreamed of a dog, Kirsten did not dare to take on the responsibility. Until she saw Doefie, a cross between a Pomeranian and a Toy Poodle. “I can handle this size, I thought. And the animal really connects, our children are there for her non-stop; one brushes, the other lets her out or feeds. Beautiful to see.”

Played together

It’s not Kirsten’s only dream that has come true in recent days, the photo shoot for Kek Mama with ‘their’ six children was also one. “For the first time Nikki, Julian, Jackie, Muck, Youp and Ted are in one photo,” says Kirsten. “That touches me.” Kim also did not keep it dry during the shoot: “When the six of them were sitting on the couch, Kirsten and I looked at each other and we both shot full. It is fantastic to see how well our children are attuned to each other, despite the age differences.”

Time for the chocolate milk, Kim says when she takes the heads out of the kitchen. “And your favorite Ferrero Rocher ball,” laughs Kirsten, “because I brought it back for you.” She continues: “Kim and I have huge sweet tooths. In a café we usually don’t order wine, but hot chocolate with whipped cream or cassis. Haha, mommy’s night out hear!”

Unique strap

When asked how long they’ve known each other, Kim nods to Kirsten: the woman of dates and time. Kirsten thinks, she was not (just) pregnant with Nikki, that makes it about thirteen years ago that she ended up at the table next to Kim during a dinner party. It was instantly “on,” according to Kim. “I immediately fell for Kirsten’s gentle, caring nature: always kind and careful. I sometimes say that Kirsten could also be a good princess of England!” Kirsten bursts out laughing.

Kim continues: “We understand each other, with both a musical man, working in the media and now both three children. We understand all the challenges, difficulties and beautiful things that this life, as a mother and in this profession, brings. Kirsten is always there for me, even if it is midnight.”

Kirsten: “I immediately trusted Kim and that is unique in this media world”

The same applies to Kirsten: “I immediately trusted Kim and that is certainly unique in this media world. I feel safe because I know that she is standing next to me, receiving me, guiding me or supporting me. Despite her busy life, Kim always makes time for me… Although sometimes she is impossible to reach. I recently had to call her manager to find out if we still had an appointment.”

First on the sidewalk

Characteristic of their friendship is Kim’s memory of the moment she had to rush to the hospital with broken water at 26 weeks pregnant. Muck was on his way, but Jaap was still in America. Kim: “The first person who showed up – next to my mother – was Kirsten. With premature packages. That gesture gave me the confidence I needed: it’s settled, it’s going to be okay. I will never throw those packages away.”

Kirsten: “Our first family holiday was without Nick but with Kim; we looked like a couple”

Kirsten also immediately thinks back to the birth of her first child. “Everything was new and exciting, in a phase when Nick was not at home much. Kim regularly slept in and pulled me through. Our first family holiday was even without Nick but with Kim – Nick flew in from abroad a few days later. Kim and I seemed like a couple, especially since Nikki was very calm with Kim. She remained calm, even though I was quite stressed. Kim has been a huge support in motherhood from the start.”

Kim interrupts: “Whoa, during pregnancy too, remember? You went so hard on your hormones that Nick regularly said: ‘Well, um, Kim… you take it over, because I don’t know anymore.’” They both burst out laughing.

Kim: “That was also the other way around, I preferred to discuss some pregnancy things with Kirsten than with Jaap. We text a lot at night, while breastfeeding, pregnant or not. I can go to Kirsten with all my questions or doubts. In the absence of a first aid course for parenting, we are going on this adventure together.”

Read also – Girlfriends through pregnancy: ‘She turned out to be going through exactly the same as me’ >

Hand in hand

They share the same positive DNA, according to Kim. “Even when things go wrong, Kirsten and I continue to see our happiness clearly. We value what we have. And when things are exciting, we hold hands.” Kim refers to the moment, at the end of August, when Nick and Simon announced that they would stop at Jinek.

Kim: “Even when things go wrong, Kirsten and I continue to see our happiness clearly”

Kirsten: “I was extremely nervous. I didn’t want anyone with me during that broadcast except the kids and Kim. We literally sat hand in hand on the couch, with a large plate of sushi in our lap that Kim had picked up on the way – she already sensed that I hadn’t been able to eat a bite yet. We experienced that moment together, with a smile and a tear.”

Kirsten: “When Nick and Simon were with Jinek, we sat hand in hand on the couch”

Second mother

Also on birthdays it becomes very clear how natural the mutual match is, says Kim. “I love Kirsten’s parents and they love her. You can see us as sisters, right Kirsten?” Growing up as an only child, Kirsten shrugs questioningly. “In any case, this is how I imagine a sister bond: an unconditional connection that becomes more and more intense, because we experience all stages of life with the children together.”

Kim: “Kirsten’s family also feels a bit like my family. I feel involved in every step they take. It is exciting to follow that, because it is also my foreland. I still have small children with minor problems, but as soon as they reach puberty, I already know exactly who I’m knocking on, haha. When Nikki asks you something, you now advise the opposite of what you would normally advise, because you know that Nikki will not follow your advice anyway. A genius tip!”

Another trump card for Kirsten is the commitment of ‘aunt Kimmie’. “All the clothes that I like, Nikki doesn’t like in advance. But if Aunt Kimmie likes it, it’s definitely great because Nikki adores her. I often ask if Kim is at Poespas [Kims webshop, red.] want to put some nice items in the shopping cart for Nikki, so that she can choose her own favorites. Then she thinks everything is crazy. Kim is like a second, great mother to her.”

The whole article can be found in Kek Mama 03-2023, available in stores from 28 February.

87% of mothers in the Netherlands have to deal with mom shaming, according to research by Kek Mama. The editors found this so shocking that they started a campaign: Kek Mama launches mombracing, the counterpart of momshaming, and calls on all mothers to support each other instead of criticizing from now on.

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