“We can’t keep that baby in mom’s belly at all”
Image: Getty Images
During your surrogacy pregnancy, there is no shortage of questions from strangers. Especially when your daughter does a special flap that makes everyone in the room change color.
Lianne (33), mother of Evi (8) and Lexi (8), surrogate mother of Tom (3).
“Four years ago I was heavily pregnant with Tom. This was a so-called surrogacy pregnancy; I carried friends’ baby. Together with the wish fathers we rented a house at a holiday park.
Oh, but we don’t keep this one
One morning Evi and I took a look at the horses. Evi was allowed to ride a horse and the supervisor started a conversation with her about my round belly: ‘How nice, are you getting a brother or sister?’ ‘No,’ replied Evi, ‘I already have a sister and she’s at home.’ Lady: “But I mean the baby in Mama’s tummy.” Evi says casually: ‘Oh, but we’re not keeping this one at all.’ As if it were a litter of puppies of which we all gave away the dogs.
“As if it were a litter of puppies where we gave all the dogs away”
The horse lady changed color. Stammering, “Huh, you’re not keeping the baby?” Then I explained the story. She responded as everyone does with ‘I could never do that’ and thought it was all very special and special.
For Evi it was and is completely normal. She has been involved in our babywearing adventure from the beginning. She knew that the baby was only staying in my tummy and would then go to his fathers. At the time she also called it ‘the baby of Sjors and Aart’ and never referred to him as brother or sister. This changed immediately after birth. Already in the hospital she called Tom her little brother. But she understands exactly what it is.
Also read – ‘My aunt was the surrogate mother of my child’ >
His real home
After we had all spent the maternity week together, the moment came when Tom and his dads went home. That resulted in no drama. Children are flexible in that respect and think purely in love. The moment they drove away Evi said: ‘You did a good job mom, now Tom is going to his real home.’”
This article was previously published in Kek Mama.
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