This mother has doubts about a pet: ‘They drool and shed, but are good for education’

I am not exactly a Freek Vonk. Rather the opposite. I have little love for animals. In fact, I’m quite a shit when it comes to other types. And that’s exactly what I don’t want to convey to my children. In my ideal upbringing they are never afraid of animals, but they are sweet and full of compassion towards four-legged or multi-legged friends. However, practice is more unruly.

Until halfway through my own primary school time, we used to have a dog at home. There have been some guinea pigs in our house and I have had a hamster myself. So I have some experience. By the way, I took that hamster a little too impulsively from a girl who turned out to be allergic.

I just didn’t take such good care of Mr. Klinsmann (named after one of the characters from my favorite hit series Heartbreak high). With some (irregular) regularity I aimed some food in his loft and (usually) changed his water. But it didn’t stop there. Playing, let alone hugging, was not really an issue. I was too scared that he would poop. I thought it was a dirty little creature, he also had a strange growth under his armpit. One morning I thought: gosh, that pile of food is getting bigger and bigger. He turned out to be cold and stiff in his cage. It took a few more days before I threw it – in a very private circle – into the green container.

Not too close

Now that I have a little more empathetic skills as an adult, I understand that I should have approached this differently. I do not think this is the right example for my children. Fortunately, they find all animals sweet and cute, provided they meet one important condition. Come on. Not. To. Close to. As they get older, they get better at keeping unwanted four-legged friends at a distance. For example, I recently picked up my six-year-old daughter after a play date with a friend. I heard from the father: “How annoying that she is allergic to dogs. I only kept him away from her a little. ” Allergic to dogs? The smarter! On the bike home we laughed about it together.

Because dogs, yes. That is a thing. We like to go to the forest. Just like anyone who has a dog. The misery often starts in the parking lot where the dogs jump out of the car with great enthusiasm. My toddler gets out of the car in the same parking lot, somewhat sulking because she has to go to the forest again. It does not help if all the dogs frolic there like cows that are allowed outside for the first time in the spring. The child panics acutely.

In addition, it only has two modes when it comes to emotions: full on or off. There is nothing in between. That is great when she is happy, because then she is also very happy. But if she is scared, she is also very scared. More than once we kept a round of wood very short, because she was unable to get over it and we did not feel like looking with condolences or frowns because of the deafening screams. Or a ring in our ears.

The monster

That same toddler has a girlfriend with whom she likes to play. Or actually I should say: played. Because since a dog was added to the family there, that girlfriend is suddenly out of the picture. But that is difficult, because not only the children, but also the parents are friends. Admittedly, I don’t have very warm feelings for the somewhat tall, enthusiastic Bernese sennen, but I don’t let it stop me from having a cup of coffee.

My stubborn sprout prefers to wait on the sidewalk until I have finished my cup. Of course I will not let it get that far, but it is always a big hassle to convince her to come in and that we will make sure that The Monster really doesn’t hurt her. It doesn’t help that she suffered quite a bit of trauma on New Years Eve when the dog in question was still a puppy.

It was now well after noon, the new year had started with a lot of fanfare. No fun for either party. When peace had somewhat returned, suddenly there was a bang out of nowhere. My somewhat sleepy daughter was frightened and looked the dog, which started barking hysterically, straight in the eye at the same moment. Since then she has been more afraid of the beast than she ever was.

A tree

The lucky coincidence is that that friend with those Bernese sennen is also a parenting coach by profession (this friendship is one to cherish, I know). She tackles all this super pedagogically. Now my children are already daring to get closer or, if they are in a very brave mood, even give them a very careful pat.

They also learned from her to stand still when a dog comes at them with a bad pace. Arms folded, head up and don’t look The Danger straight in the eye. Her theory here: then you look like a tree and you are much too boring to play with. And damn, it works! Dogs run past my children. Every time I am terrified that a dog just chooses that one ‘tree’ to pee against, but luckily that has never happened.

Nice, remote farm

Although I really do my best, even with the dog above, I don’t aspire to a career as a dog owner. Because, frankly, my kids aren’t the only ones who are a little scared when it comes to those big, unpredictable, playful (and smelly, hairy, drooling) rascals. Unless we ever, ever, ever come to live on that nice, remote farm and we have to chase scum from our yard. Once we are on that farm, I would like to have room for chickens and who knows even a goat or something like that. We have already tried chickens. That was quite a laugh.

I’ll never forget the one time our neatly raked residential area was in turmoil because the chicks had escaped (it’s still an unsolved mystery after all these years, by the way, who left the gate open). The fresh eggs were delicious and the tokies were especially cute. Until summer came and the ladies started to be heard from five in the morning. That is less pleasant in that raked residential area. And so acquaintances who already live on such an envious little farm afterwards adopted our chickens. Better for the neighborhood and a nice place for the animals themselves (I will ignore the fact that the dog had slaughtered one there within two weeks).

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Responsibility

Despite my slight resistance, I wouldn’t think it would be a bad idea if one day we added pets to our roguish duo. It’s quite good if they get a little compassion and a sense of responsibility in their upbringing. Do you then need animals for that, you may ask. Not necessarily, but it does help. A dog / cat / rabbit / canary / tarantula is really different from a tamagotchi. We all let them die several times in the past, right?

But a living animal, as owner you really bear responsibility for that. The animals must be fed and the cages must be changed. There is discipline involved. By taking care of a pet, you develop traits that will serve you well for the rest of life. In addition, it is just super fun to see that pets can be real buddies for a child. And with a little luck they also offer some protection. For example, that big, busy Bernese Mountain Dog I mentioned earlier always keeps the group together when we all go to the forest. It is actually quite a sweet animal, big as it is.

There are, however, restrictions on the type of pet that I would allow under my roof. So I detest all kinds of amphibians and reptiles. When my children, spurred on by adventurous friends, are in a heroic mood and want to look for frogs in the garden, I want to encourage it. But everything in me resists that because I find frogs very, very, very dirty. Just like toads, salamanders, lizards, snakes, et cetera. Come on, I have a tolerance policy for the Ikea cuddly snake.

Bird bingo

I wish I loved animals. Because I really love nature. In the forest I do my best to spot birds. I would like to recognize them by their chirping and colored feathers. At home we play a game of bird bingo at least once every two weeks. And recently we have a school poster with garden birds on the wall. Only I can’t keep them apart. I blame it on my dyscalculia for birds rather than grades. I recently pointed out to the toddler a beautiful black-white-red bird that I did not know the name of. “Nice mama,” she said, “a woodpecker!” Trumped by a four-year-old. I won’t forget that now anyway.

Animal love

As my children get older, I feel that they are becoming more relaxed when it comes to animals (now I still do). Where as a joke I can chase my youngest all over the house with a little fluff under the assumption that it is a spider, my oldest no longer blushes or blushes about it. They also increasingly dare to pet a (very small) dog. But there are animals that are really a bridge too far for my smallest Smurf.

For example, we were recently at a riding school for a niece’s game. Daughter one couldn’t believe her eyes and has wanted nothing more than to take riding lessons ever since. Daughter two screamed murder and fire and insisted on waiting outside. Incidentally, the same girl now announces that she will also take riding lessons later. I think that is still a bridge or 72 too far. This may have something to do with an unresolved childhood trauma. As a child I was once gazed off a pony in Slagharen, super embarrassing.

Strangely enough I want to give a little animal love to my children. It will soon be their birthday. Maybe just consider a very small hamster. I will probably also learn something from it myself.

This article can be found in Kek Mama 01-2021.

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