‘The hardest part is that you always wonder if you’re doing it right’

Image: Ruud Jellema and private

Willem van den Berg (35) lives with Dagmar (34) and is the father of son Douwe (8 months).

“Becoming a father was not a fervent wish of mine. I thought: if I find the right partner, I’m open to it. Nature does its job. And so it went. Dagmar and I were ready at the same time. I thought it would be nice to have a family together. I was curious, but also a little anxious when I thought of horror stories about all the broken nights in the beginning.”

Positive

“I didn’t know that Dagmar took a pregnancy test. Suddenly she stood in front of me with a stick that said ‘positive’. I thought she tested for corona. It took a while for the penny to drop. I was happy but confused. Now it got real.”

Helping hand

“I found childbirth exciting. Dagmar had severe back pains. I had read that it helps if pressure is applied to the lower back. Dagmar leaned forward, I pushed with both hands just above her tailbone. It was nice that I could help a little in that way.”

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Eyes wide shut

“I thought the postpartum period that I had been so busy about was great. I liked it one hundred percent. Everything went well: Douwe drank well and the lack of sleep was less difficult than expected. I took a few weeks off and was able to start up quietly together with Dagmar and Douwe. It was the middle of winter. When Dagmar slept, Douwe and I cocooned under a blanket on the couch. Men’s night, I called it. We then watched all the Spiderman movies. Close your eyes, yes.”

“I drum and I suspect that Douwe is also musical. In the abdomen he already reacted strongly to music. When he is sad and I play his favorite Andrea Bocelli song, he immediately calms down.”

So fast

“Having a child is even more fun than I expected. It’s especially cool to see his development. It goes so quickly. Already, Douwe is no longer a real baby, but a man. It makes me curious about how he will be when he is seven, fourteen or thirty. I can not wait.”

Doubts

“I hope that Douwe remains as happy as he is now, and that he enjoys hobbies and can keep up with school. As a parent you don’t have everything under control, that powerlessness seems difficult to me. The hardest part is that you always wonder if you are doing it right. Sometimes I think: shouldn’t I read to him more often or go out with him more? You start fatherhood with zero experience and do everything by feel.”

“You start fatherhood with zero experience and do everything by feel”

Yes

“I make blunders all the time. Recently I went to the terrace with Douwe. I was just having my cappuccino when he starts crying over the bottle. I had packed everything: milk powder, thermos with boiled water, bib. Except the bottle itself.”

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