‘Suddenly he turned into an oversexed teenager’
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When Kim’s husband Rik was given hormones to solve a medical problem, his libido went wild. Kim allows him his pleasure, but is not always in the mood.
Kim (28), together with Rik (32), mother of Liz (4) and Saar (2):
“No beard growth, little pubic hair, a high voice and no semen discharge. There was something medically wrong with my husband Rik, but for a long time he refused to go to a doctor. When he was in the pub with friends and they talked about ‘a hot chick’ he chatted along, but didn’t feel the same excitement. He doubted himself. He certainly wasn’t gay, but wondered if he was straight enough. Or maybe asexual? Porn seemed to do little for him, nor did he have any great fantasies about it.
Off the boat
In the beginning of our relationship I kept the boat off in terms of sex. I wanted to get to know him first. That worked out well for Rick. But when I tried it after two months, Rik confided in me about his minimal libido. He was crazy about me, but sex was still not a party. The pleasure was more ‘between his ears’, although he easily had an orgasm but without sperm.
“Rik was already wearing his coat when the doctor asked if he could smell properly”
I responded with understanding, but thought he should find out what was going on. Especially since he didn’t ejaculate and we wanted children in the long run. He went to the doctor who immediately referred him to a urologist. He examined him, but also groped in the dark. Only at the end of the consultation, Rik was already wearing his coat, did the doctor ask if he could smell properly. Um, no, nothing.
Stood still
At that point, he had to sit down again. This pointed to Kallmann’s syndrome, a rare condition in which boys and girls, among other things, cannot smell and never reach puberty.
The syndrome is often accompanied by a cleft lip, the absence of one kidney or abnormalities in the bones of the fingers and toes. Since Rik did not have this, he had overlooked this disease. It was only when he didn’t smell that the penny dropped and an explanation for his complaints finally came. His brain does not connect the hypothalamus and pituitary gland, with the result that no sex hormones are produced, so that puberty is delayed.
Long story short: Rik’s development had partly come to a standstill. From that moment on he was prescribed medication to produce artificial testosterone.
Hormones
Rick’s body changed almost immediately. He got more body hair and the beard in the throat. His clothing size went from S to XL and his penis also grew. But above all, he was hysterically in love. His testosterone level shot from 0 to 32, while men his age have about 16. As a result, I suddenly had a kind of oversexed teenager in my house.
“I enjoyed his enthusiasm to make up for lost time”
At first I loved that, I enjoyed his enthusiasm to make up for lost time. But if I was busy or didn’t feel like doing twice a day, I’d hand Rik a box of tissues and tell him to figure it out for himself.
Also read – Regulating your endocrine system: this can help >
Stunned
Our biggest question had been his fertility. After all, without sperm there is no fertilization. Now with the medicines it worked. When we wanted to go up for a child six years ago and made this known to the endocrinologist, Rik was given other medicines that would strengthen his fertility. Twice a week he injected himself with Pregnyl, a drug containing hCG, a hormone often given to women to promote ovulation. In men, it helps sperm cells mature.
After a few months we had his semen tested. Perhaps we would otherwise have to embark on a medical trajectory. But there appeared to be an above-average amount of sperm cells that were still well mobile. Already in the first month after stopping the pill we got pregnant naturally with Liz. We were stunned. Two years later our second daughter, Saar, followed.
sex drive
When I was pregnant with my second, Rik was able to go back on his old hormones. The Pregnyl gave him terrible peaks and troughs in his hormone system. At the moment he receives an injection every three months. About a week after that shot, he has an unprecedented high sexdrive. Then we do it every day. When I work at home sometimes also a quick snack after lunch.
“About a week after that shot, he has an unprecedented high sexdrive“
After a week or two it settles down and goes back to ‘normal’. That is an average of twice a week. Sometimes an outlier to four, sometimes a little less. When I have to get my period, for example, I really don’t want to. If I sometimes don’t feel like it at other times, I often do something to get him please. He’s a good lover, so I’m not short of anything. And I wish him his pleasure, after all he’s been through.
Spicy years
The past few years have made a big impact. You can’t see anything about him in terms of appearance. Rik is a healthy, large man with a big beard. But inside he’s having a hard time. For a few months he has been at home with a burnout and is receiving psychotherapy.
Because of years of walking around with a secret and feeling different, he has low self-esteem. He still feels shame towards others. For example, I really can’t get him to the sauna, while he looks great. Fortunately, he feels safe and happy at home.
A third
We are still in doubt about a third child. Rik and I both come from a family of three and have always seen this as ideal. But the syndrome can be hereditary and we now have two healthy daughters. The girls were tested after birth and don’t have it. But what if the third one is a boy and he has it too? That risk plays into that decision.
At the moment, with his burnout, it is of course not an option at all. First he has to feel better, also because he will then have to take Pregnyl again. Maybe when the youngest is three, then it’s all easier to combine in terms of family. I don’t have any rattling ovaries myself, but I won’t be selling any baby stuff for the time being.”
Do you also want to be interviewed for this section? Then you will receive a ‘fun package’ from EasyToys worth € 75. Mail to redactie@kekmama.nl.
