Sofian and Can have an open marriage: ‘As long as he does it safely’

“My friends were concerned: ‘Don’t do it Sofian, you’ll never have this man for yourself.’ Well, coincidentally, I didn’t have to, I was on a dating site for cheaters for a reason. What neither of us had foreseen: we fell madly in love. We broke off our relationships and decided to move on together. “You can’t expect me to be sexually loyal to you,” he said, “but you’re the only woman I love.” I thought it was a free feeling that I wasn’t stuck with sex with the same man for the rest of my life. And that I didn’t have to be secretive about it.

The only deal

Sometimes I send Can on the hunt. Then the testosterone rushes through his body while I long for an evening with tea on the couch. “Go on,” I say, “I’ll see you in the morning.” The only agreement we have is for him to do it safely, stay away from my friends and not lie when I ask about something. But usually I don’t care where he has been. As long as he gets home.

Great solution

I did try sex with other men. But at the first kiss I thought: I don’t want this at all, I want Can. I just don’t like him as much. Then this is a great solution, right? He doesn’t have to cheat like in his previous relationship. We love each other and I trust him blindly.

Sometimes we meet up with another couple and have sex with the four of us. This has resulted in some nice friendships, but I will never meet only with the husband of such a couple, or he with the woman. Can is not busy with other women every week; he jumps out of the band every two months. The rest of the time we make love together, our sex life is varied and sweet.

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Funnily enough, it felt fine

During my pregnancy and for the first six months after that, Can had no need for anyone else at all. That worked out well: I did not manage it during that period either, I needed him as the father of my child. When Mick was about seven months old, Can was out of control. I thought, if I don’t let him go now, he’ll do it secretly. Strangely enough, it felt fine when he hit the road that night.

This works for us

I want to pass on to Mick that sex is something you prefer to share with someone special in your life. No child wants to know about his parents’ excesses. This works for us, but I realize that the majority of couples don’t understand this. And that’s fine; only the friends we have sex with know about it. Should Mick later have the same free ideas about sex as we do, he has our blessing. We know how nice that can be. ”

This article has previously appeared in Kek Mama.

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