Patricia wants to change her last name (and does it big right away)

Patricia van Liemt is a radio host, writer and mother of Maria (12) and Phaedra (9). Every Friday she writes accurate, honest, funny and above all recognizable columns about her life and motherhood.

I’ve never understood why parents liked getting married with their kids around. In fact, when I married my partner, we had a child-free wedding. A family riot immediately arose from this decision, because a distant cousin already had children and refused to come if they were not allowed to join. Pff, childish, don’t you think?

Blessed with children

We are now more than a decade later and I am blessed (yes, I use a big word here, because we had to struggle through IVF for five years to get to our size) with two children. And I love them, but I can also look forward to when they are in bed. The calm that falls over the house like a blanket is almost deafening. A moment later I hear the washing-up call, but you get it.

Maiden name

Well, because I’m giving my inner feminist all the space these days, I’d like to have my own last name back. Well, that’s not quite right, because I actually want my maiden name first and then his last name. After evenings of debating and maybe some spontaneous fellatio, I managed to convince him to change his name too. At least, to put my last name after his. Tjakka.

Also read – Patricia wonders, ‘Why did I take my husband’s last name?’ †

Yes, I want (again)

Happy as a child, I thought it would be fun to handle this change ceremonially. My first thought was to propose to him again, but soon a better opportunity presented itself. We are going to Las Vegas this summer. How nice would it be if Elvis reconnected us in real life? Me in a hat and my partner wearing Elvis down the aisle runs. Nice and crazy.

With children there

But we are no longer ‘alone’ as we were the first time. Of course we have two descendants. And suddenly the thought that they would witness this circus made me so happy. Isn’t it nice that you as a person can stand in the competition so differently?

“Suddenly I became so happy to think that my children would witness this circus”

I know, experience does a lot to a person, but still. I would love nothing more than for them to be there when Mom and Dad choose each other again…

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