Patricia lashes out at the school system: ‘We don’t want to raise our children like that, do we?’

“With or without Ritalin, but my child is going to the Atheneum!” I will never forget the day I heard a mother say that statement.

‘Ritalin is a drug that a child with ADHD gets, isn’t it?’ I ask a friend a little later. My oldest daughter has just entered grade 3, so Cito tests and other performance jobs are still a far-from-my-bed show at that time. I am no longer naive and I know better: it starts early …

Stamp

Children these days, if you ask me, are put in a box way too quickly. In group 3 there are already so-called Sun and Moon children, where one group gets slightly more and more difficult assignments than the other group. And if you think such a principle passes a six-year-old, then you are wrong. My daughter knows very well that her best friend is a ‘Moon Child’ and that he is just a bit smarter than she is. At least, according to our very old-fashioned school system.

BAM. Stamp. He’s smarter than me. And then you’re only 6 fucking years old. And it is not the case that these are extreme cases such as gifted children, but just kids who can read just a little faster and have mastered math just a little easier. That does not mean that they come out better later on. But psychologically it is a huge one fixed mindset.

A fixed mindset is the opposite of one growth mindset. Children with fixed mindset see their intelligence and qualities as fixed, and children with a growth mindset see that they can learn. If certain classmates are ‘smarter’ according to the system, because that is how children interpret it, you lay the foundation stone for a fixed mindset. Which is a shame and bad for self-confidence and in my opinion totally wrong.

Subclasses

A friend lives in our capital with her children where, in a certain part of the city, most of the parents are either lawyers, doctors or pilots. In recent years, the number of ‘smart’ children in her daughter’s class has grown exponentially. They are now in a subclass with a prestigious title: the Plato class. Say hello. Cubicle alarm!

One summer day, pre corona, the Plato group was apparently so far ahead that they were allowed to go to a zoo that afternoon while the rest of the class struggled. My girlfriend’s daughter came home upset: she had received HAVO / VWO advice. Which of course is insanely good, but she was still disappointed.

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Dent in your confidence

This is not the way we want to raise our children, is it? Isn’t it about our children being able to develop their talents and feel good about it? Just like the terms high and low education: you are actually saying to a student who goes to VMBO that he is not good enough for higher education. Hoppa: dent your self-confidence.

The system is based on cognitive skills, but is it not about discovering what suits the child? Shouldn’t learning be meaningful? When a child is learning for an exam, the only thing meaningful is the grade. But if it’s up to me, we’ll stop these tests. Every child and every situation is different and the current school system divides you into boxes at a very young age. In my view, that early selection only reinforces the differences, and not the natural interests of a child.

“Mom!” My youngest shouts when she gets home.

“Yes honey, tell ..”

“I’ve become a Moonchild!”

‘How nice’, I respond. What else do I have to say?

Goddamn. I’m in the middle of it. Caught in a moment of relief, but know better …

Patricia van Liemt is a radio host, writer and mother of 2 lab babies Maria (11) and Phaedra (8). She worked at Qmusic and 100% NL, among others. You can now hear her successful podcast series Let’s Talk About Sex (e) on GoodLIFE Radio. Her husband lives in Switzerland during the week, when she tries to combine kids, work and girls nights as best as possible. In her debut novel ‘De Lab Baby’ she talks about her personal experiences with IVF.

More columns from Patricia? Every Friday there is a new column on KekMama.nl. Read the previous columns here.