Nineteen years old and unplanned pregnant: ‘As if the ground fell from under my feet’

“I didn’t want to have children, but I did have a boyfriend. We were in the second year of our law degree and did not think about the future. Life was all about parties. Carefree. Later came again. I usually swallowed the pill, so I rarely got my period. There was nothing to indicate that a person was growing in me in the meantime. Until suddenly I felt very tired from one day to the next. I gained some weight and my breasts were sore. I didn’t pay any attention to it; all those beers cut it off, of course.

My mother was the one who noticed. “Aren’t you pregnant?” she inquired delicately when I was home for the weekend. It felt like the ground was sinking from under my feet. I intuitively knew she was right – I just had no idea how long I was pregnant. Fortunately, I was immediately able to see the midwife via the GP. It turned out I had been on the road for sixteen weeks.

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Decision

“Abortion is an option, isn’t it,” said the midwife cautiously. I was glad she gave me that choice, I was only nineteen. But I couldn’t. My child had a beating heart and arms and legs. My friend promised to support me no matter what I decided.

I finished my second year of study heavily pregnant. In my dorm room, the crib next to my sofa bed. Immediately after giving birth, my friend’s parents supported us in buying an apartment, where we live to this day. Just before I – consciously, this time – got pregnant with our second daughter, I got my diploma. Where I once thought: not here, not now, I now think that our lives could not have been better. ”

This article can be found in Kek Mama 01-2021.

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