‘My focus is nowhere at all’
Image: Cynthia’s photography
I’ve never really been a star at waiting. I’m even bad at it. Now I do know that childbirth presents itself when it presents itself, but still. Secretly I was waiting for it from the day I was 37 weeks and thought: well, now she can come safely. As I type this I am 39 weeks and 4 days pregnant and nothing is happening yet.
During the last check, last Thursday, Mrs. had not yet descended. We could go home with the following advice: if your waters break, lie down immediately. Lie down immediately? That doesn’t really sound like me, but okay. If it happens, fine, I’ll lie down. It turns out that, for example, an arm or the umbilical cord can slip out if your waters break without the baby having descended. Better not. Lie down, check. So we don’t come very far from home these days. I still go to the store, but lying in the stands at the football is also so dramatic.
Asking questions
The children also begin to wonder when she is coming. Lewis continues to ask questions. How much does it hurt? How does childbirth work? Are you going to scream really loud? Can you still walk? I chose everything like this straight and as honest as possible. Hopefully he learns something from it and sticks around for later. Miles believes it all, he will see his sister when she is there. In that respect there is a real difference between the two in terms of questions, but whether that is the age I dare not say. Lewis did ask today if a friend could stay over. Well, uh, no. Rather not. You will see, the labor will start in the middle of the night and his mother cannot be reached. Can my parents also start caring about the boyfriend?
Maternity clinic on Curacao
Lewis, incidentally, was already born with this term. Miles took three days longer, but was also there before the due date. Every now and then I try to recall how it went with them. Was I having contractions in the afternoon? When did I feel that the real deal had started? What is also nice is that a lady on Instagram sent me a photo of the Maternity Clinic on Curacao, where Miles was born. Crazy to look back after eight years and so different from Dutch hospitals and birth centers.
Normally a lot of my free time is spent on my writing (I am an author, and writing has become a serious second job alongside my work in secondary special education), but now that I finally have the time to make good progress, my focus is nowhere at all. So I enjoy myself with chores, a bit of cleaning here and there – although I don’t think the hardcore nesting urge remains – Netflix and above all keep moving. We are really looking forward to giving birth, which I think is very normal. As long as the lady is doing well in my belly, she can stay put, although we are also very curious. Lewis indicated today that he was looking forward to it, he wanted to see his sister. That does me a lot of good, especially considering the fact that he had a lot of trouble with it at the beginning of the pregnancy.
Lewis came with 39+2, Miles with 39+5. What will my daughter do? We’ll really have to wait a little longer for it.
Until next week! Hopefully with baby.
Ellen is a counselor in secondary special education, an author at De Fontein publishers, mother of two boys aged ten and eight, recently divorced and expecting a daughter with her new boyfriend. Read her previous columns here.
Would you like to read more beautiful and recognizable stories from fellow moms? Subscribe now and receive Kek Mama first on your doorstep every month.
