Juicero: Silicon Valley’s dumbest invention ever

Juicero shows that even business geniuses with more money than the average oil sheik lose out if they don’t use their common sense.

It is 2013 and, fueled by the then extremely low interest rates of the US Federal Reserve, Silicon Valley billionaires have more money than they can spend. Boredom sets in.

Juicero, the best invention since Senseo?

Then someone comes, Doug Evans. The owner of a failed juice chain, walking in with a bright idea. We are going to irreparably improve those dull blenders that you can buy for a few tenners in the store. We buy ecologically responsible fruit and vegetables. We have them cut into pieces in Mexico for starvation wages and stuffed by a robot into fun bags at $5, or even better, $7 each. We provide this with a QR code, which serves as an expiration date.

You put it in our super smart, exclusive, internet-connected device, the Juicero. After a few minutes of buzzing and bubbling, a healthy juice comes out. No more Campylobacter poisonings and a mega claim from a greedy lawyer over a piece of moldy broccoli or avocado. Because the Juicero no longer works when the expiration date has been exceeded. Or, if the bag belongs to a competitor, of course. Because every bag is reported via Wi-Fi and the Internet.

Gold fever strikes

Eat that, juice bar amateurs. We’ll go all the way for a while disrupt. No more mess, because the bag remains closed. No washing up. No, just a glass with a juice that you can drink immediately. All this for the friend price of $ 700. You order those bags via a special app. In short, an idea that cannot fail. In eco- and healthy-obsessed California, these healthy pouches from the Juicero are going to sell like hot cakes.

To make a long story short: the gold rush is hitting the audience, who dream of repeating the success of the Nespresso coffee cups and the Senseo. Swept away by Evans’ unbridled enthusiasm, the millions of venture capitalists pour in and those in attendance get to work diligently.

The first devices will be available in stores at the beginning of 2016. This wonder of nature is marketed with slick films.

Total demise of Juicero

Until disaster strikes. In advertising campaigns it has been emphasized that only thanks to the Juicero’s “extremely strong” motor, the cubes of fruit and vegetables can be crushed. Then a smart guy comes up with the idea to try whether it is not possible to turn the bags into a juice by kneading it firmly.

That turns out to be no problem. The very expensive device turns out to do no better than the bare hand. Sales collapse and customers ask for their money back. Even a price reduction from $700 to $400 was to no avail. When the clouds of smoke clear, and Juicero has gone bankrupt, it turns out that a small $ 120 million has gone up in smoke. What remains is the memory of Silicon Valley’s most epic fail ever.

And Doug Evans? He already has a new project. Raw water, at the well-known expensive prices.