‘In everything I felt that we belong here’

Image: Getty Images

The grind of everyday life did not make single mother Catlin happy. So she packed up her things and her child and emigrated to Bali.

Catlin (29), mother of Seth (3):

“When the plane doors were closed and everyone was strapped in, a kind of peace descended on me. There was no going back, we flew into the adventure I had thought and dreamed about for so long. Seth and I emigrated to Bali in March 2022, after arrival we first had to quarantine for five days. It was only after that, when we were in the car to go to our rented house, that I could really believe that our new life would begin. I didn’t have any concrete plans for that yet. But in everything I felt that we belong here.

Emigrate

I did not leave the Netherlands out of dissatisfaction: I had a good job, dear parents and good friends. I’ve always taken care of Seth alone, even though I wasn’t supposed to when I got pregnant. But long before he was born, his father left me. He has never contributed anything to the upbringing and does not pay a penny in alimony.

I worked hard so Seth and I had a good time together. That meant that I saw him much less than I wanted to. After a long day at work, I raced – as so many parents do – to the nursery, to quickly complete the evening ritual at home so that he was still in bed somewhat on time. Week in, week out.

“My feeling of home is wherever I am with Seth”

I loved my job and my child, but I was not happy with this life. Before I became a mother I traveled a lot and I continued to do so with Seth. Every time we came back I fell into a hole. The idea that I do not belong in the Netherlands became stronger and stronger. My sense of home is wherever I am with Seth. That got me thinking, can I leave everything behind and leave with him?

I made all kinds of plans in my head, both in Europe and beyond. Each time I came back to Indonesia. I’ve been coming here for years, love the people and life here. It is less individualistic, the community is supported by everyone.

Letting go

The fact that my owner-occupied house was now worth double, made it financially possible to go. The fact that life in Indonesia is cheaper than, for example, in Portugal also played a role. But before I took the plunge, I spent a year and a half collecting information and making preparations. For example, I checked with the notary how the surplus value on my house was. He explained to me that the money is mine and that I don’t have to reinvest it if I don’t buy a house in the Netherlands for the next three years.

“Although I longed for a freer life, I found it difficult to let go of all fixedness”

I worked through all the practical matters, but it also took me months mentally to prepare our emigration. As nice as it seemed to me, it still gave me sleepless nights. Although I longed for a freer life, I found it difficult to let go of all fixedness. I am solely responsible for my child, also financially. And I am realistic about that: even if I could leave with a nice buffer, that money will also be used up.

Moreover, I think it is important that Seth can study later, if he wants to. I’ve made lists of pluses and minuses. We lived in Portugal twice for a month and went to Indonesia for six months to test what works for us. After that I was convinced that my heart is in Bali.

Grandma

“I knew it all along,” my mother said when I told her I would go through with my plan. It made her proud and sad at the same time. After my father’s divorce, she remained alone. I’m her only daughter, Seth her only grandchild. But I know that my dream of living here is more important to her than staying in the Netherlands to make her happy. We talk openly about that.

We hope that one day she can come and live here for part of the year. We video call every Sunday. Then she just ‘stands’ on our table when we are eating, for example. Seth always wants to see his toys that he left with her and his Paw patrol duvet is also a permanent fixture.

Read also – Noortje moved to Bali with her family: ‘We have lost a lot financially, but it doesn’t feel that way’ >

Vacation rentals

I had given myself three months to figure out what I wanted to do here. Of course I had already researched the possibilities before leaving: I wanted to invest my money in holiday homes. Since my mother traveled with us and stayed for a few weeks, I had my hands free to hit the road.

I drove all over the island on my scooter to see pieces of land and accommodations and that’s how I fell in love with three houses built on a hill, with a swimming pool in the garden and within walking distance of the sea. The view of the jungle is breathtaking, sometimes even monkeys come to visit.

After a major renovation, they are now ready for rental. I had the roofs replaced, painted everything and bought mattresses and furniture. A big operation, but I enjoyed every day. The houses are mine, but the land remains owned by a Balinese. I can only applaud the strict rules to prevent rich Westerners from taking over everything here. Five locals work in the garden and the houses. Although staff here are cheap compared to the Netherlands, I work with them every day and I also lie on my knees weeding, cleaning and getting groceries. Collaboration is important to me.

Live in the moment

Now that the holiday homes are in order, I am already making new plans. Sitting still is not for me. This time I’m doing that together with a new love, who crossed my path here. We want to set up something for stray dogs, there are so many of them. I’m good and happy to share. For example, Seth’s nanny brings her children and when they have finished playing, they take a hot shower with us, because she doesn’t have one at home. To be able to communicate well with the locals, I started with a crash course in Balinese.

“Since I’ve been here I live more in the moment. Nobody is in a hurry here”

Since I’ve been here I live more in the moment. You are forced to do that, because no one here is in a hurry or cares. I did have to get used to that though. A few mornings a week I take Seth to a Montessori school and then drive to the houses. In the afternoon we often go to the beach or play together in the shade in the garden. Shopping and cooking for yourself is more expensive than eating out, so we regularly eat out. Because Seth prefers to eat potatoes, vegetables and meat, I also cook occasionally.

I am no longer dependent on the weekend for quality time. I have much more time for us together, just what I longed for. I am living my dream, I often realize that when Seth is lying in bed and I am watching the sunset with a cup of tea.”

With a subscription to Kek Mama you enjoy great benefits:

*Cheaper than in the store

*Read Kek Mama first every month

*Shipped for free

Subscribe now and pay only €4.19 per edition.

Post Views: 0