‘I’m still the same powerful woman, but in a different guise’
Image: Nine IJf
Kanessa Muluneh (31) is married to Remco (50). They have two children: son Memphis (4) and daughter Malyché (2). In the Kek Mama Special about mombracing, Kanessa, like four other mothers, shows herself completely.
“Being overweight has never been an issue for me. My full figure matched my strong personality and people complimented me: ‘You can have it.’ In my first pregnancy, the extra pounds were hardly noticeable because of my stature. I also gained little weight, eight kilos, because I had to pay close attention to my diet due to pregnancy sugar.
You can read more stories from mothers about everything that has to do with mombracing here.
My story
I didn’t mind that the kilos kept sticking after the birth. It had something: I am now a mother and that literally and figuratively brings with it a new kind of firmness. After my second pregnancy it was a different story. The second cesarean section had made my abdomen droop even more and the skin crumpled up. I almost didn’t recognize my body anymore and started googling: do others have this too?
I soon realized that it made little sense. This was my story – I had a full build and I had quite heavy children. You can’t compare that to a mother who had a tight stomach prior to her pregnancy. Fortunately, my abdomen with clothes on was not noticeable and my husband helped to look at it positively: this body did give birth to two children. After a few months I got resigned to it.
However, there were physical complaints: pain in my feet, back pain, neck pain. I used to lose some weight by exercising and watching my diet, but now I couldn’t. I only got heavier – approaching 140 kilos. The GP referred me to the Obesity Clinic and there I had a stomach reduction.
In a different jacket
I’m now sixty pounds lighter: thinner than I’ve ever been. That takes getting used to. When I look at my flabby skin and skinny face, I think: who is this? I do notice that my new figure has advantages. I can wear boots that never fit my calves and dresses fit better. And more importantly: I have energy for two. Where before I barely had the energy for the playground, I now walk through the entire neighborhood.
The children are too young to understand my transformation, but Remco likes it. Although it also takes some getting used to for him: suddenly he has less to ‘get a good grip’. There will come a time when I will be completely satisfied. That I proudly look in the mirror and think: I am still the same powerful woman, but in a different jacket.”
This portrait is featured in the Kek Mama Mombracing Special 2022.
77% of mothers in the Netherlands have to deal with mom shaming, according to research by Kek Mama. The editors found this so shocking that they started a campaign: Kek Mama is launching mombracing, the counterpart to momshaming, and calls on all mothers to support each other instead of criticizing each other.
