‘I moved to Thailand out of love and I went back out of love’

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Patricia Panasri (36) is married to Jack (42) and mother of daughters Luna (9) and Gaia (2) and son Deva (6). She works as a business astrologer.

“Actually, I was on my way to Laos, but I accidentally got on the wrong bus. That’s how I ended up in the poorest part of Thailand. There were no hostels and hardly any tourists. I was planning to move on after one night, but met a group of volunteers who made me enthusiastic about their work.

It was 2009, it was a crisis and I had just completed my master’s degree in interior architecture. I wanted to travel one more time before my working life started. Since I didn’t have a fixed plan anyway, I decided to go with that group. When we were in the middle of nowhere When I arrived I thought: this is real Thailand. Untouched and untouched. I thought it was a nice place to stay a little longer and started teaching English at the village school as a volunteer.

“A boy from the Thai countryside did not fit the ten-year plan I had ready”

After a while I realized that Jack, the owner of the volunteer organization, often looked at me and joked a lot. I liked him, but was hindered by my western view. A boy from the Thai countryside, he didn’t fit into the ten-year plan I had ready for when I was back in the Netherlands. Still, I threw myself into the adventure with Jack, I wanted to enjoy it there and not think about the future.

holiday love

Four months later I went to the Netherlands. And even though I thought Jack was very special by now, my head hadn’t turned off yet. I didn’t see myself staying there forever, but I didn’t see him living in the Netherlands either. But hey, after five months at home, I knew it wasn’t just some vacation love I’d left behind. In the Netherlands I found a job and I had my family and friends. Everything was good and yet I was missing something. I had to go back to find out if Jack and I had a future.

In Bangkok he was waiting for me, together we traveled to the village where he lived. Even though my ratio screamed that it was impossible, my feeling said that we belonged together. The same was true of Jack, though he was also realistic. He didn’t want to ask me to give up my whole life, he wasn’t going to do that the other way around either.

Also read – Holiday love: ‘We have now been together for 21 years and are proud parents of four children’ >

Living in a village

I stayed for another four months, this time to find out if I could really stay here and accept all that life in the countryside entails. That meant living in a village with five hundred inhabitants, in the wooden house of my in-laws, surrounded by rice fields. There was internet, but the opening of the first mini-supermarket was yet to come. There I discovered a version of myself that I couldn’t bring out in the Netherlands: more relaxed and less concerned with being in control.

“With only my backpack and a one-way ticket I traveled after love”

Before I actually emigrated to Thailand, I wanted to show Jack Nederland so that he knows where I come from. I also wanted him to be able to meet my family and friends. And I thought a financial buffer was important, so I worked another six months before traveling after love with a backpack and a one-way ticket.

Back to the Netherlands

We lived in Thailand for six years. We lived simply, but the space and tranquility felt luxurious, especially when our own house was ready. At first I thought I was missing my job, but that was just my ego. I took care of the children, who were born in the Netherlands because the nearest hospital was an hour away from us.

At some point, the countryside started to isolate me. I felt more and more cut off from the outside world and although there were many lovely people around us, I missed real friendships. I was seen as the rich western woman, whom many people looked up to. In the meantime I had started a company and coached online entrepreneurs. I also longed for live contact.

“Although there were many lovely people around us, I missed real friendships”

It was Jack who suggested moving to the Netherlands together. He saw that I was less happy and in addition, things were not going so well in his organization. Less than five weeks later I was on the plane with the kids, Jack followed soon after us. I’m still glad we made that choice. Life there was not against us yet, but I knew it could be better. Not just for me, for our family. I moved out of love and out of love I went back.”

This article is in the Kek Mama Love Special 2022.

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