‘I am much happier now that I live minimalistic’

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Marloes (35) is mother of Nuna (4) and Ilvy (6 months). She started minimizing five years ago and has been living with very little stuff ever since.

“I always had to buy something when I was shopping. Coming home without bags filled was not an option, even if I only bought a belt or mascara. New stuff gave me a kick; I could really enjoy a garment in my hands that had never been worn: tags still attached and then you know you’re going to wear it the next day. But the kick was always short-lived.

“New stuff gave me a kick, but the kick was always short-lived”

After a week that item of clothing was in the closet among all my other purchases and it didn’t make me ‘soul happy’ anymore. ‘You are a shopping addict,’ my friend Job said regularly. I laughed it off, but knew there was some truth in it. It was somehow deeply sad that I had to get my happiness out of material.

Turn things around

Five years ago I went to therapy because I kept seeing myself in a negative way. I was also depressed. Shopping for me was fleeing, I bought off a sad feeling with it. I didn’t have the easiest childhood, which I don’t want to dwell on too much. Let’s just say I grew up unsafe. I missed love from my parents.

In addition to therapy, I started doing yoga intensively. That got me. I booked retreats and met people there that opened my eyes. We don’t need any stuff. At least, not as much as we buy now. The fact that we leave an enormous footprint on earth with our absurd way of consuming also started to displease me more and more.

“No more choice stress, no bulging shelves – overview!”

When I met someone who lived a minimalistic lifestyle during a retreat, I immediately knew: I want that too. I changed course, rid my head and my surroundings of all unnecessary stimuli. That same week I cleaned out my wardrobe completely and reduced it to some basics that I can’t live without. It was as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders; no more choice stress, no bulging shelves – overview!

Tidy

Job loved it, until I started applying it to the rest of the house. I wanted to get rid of everything we didn’t do anything with. I was just shocked by what was in the attic and in the shed. And from what I had stored in kitchen cupboards, but had never or barely used. We had so many completely useless rubbish around the house. It had to go! I gave almost everything to friends, took it to the thrift store or sold it on Marktplaats.

My cleaning rage has caused quite a bit of discussion between Job and me. He had two bicycles in the shed. Couldn’t hurt, he thought. I thought it was unnecessary possession and moreover, someone could be made happy with that superfluous bicycle. After a long nagging, he gave in and gave the bike to his brother.

Also read – Sustainable living with children: this is how you do it >

Minimalist life

When I got pregnant with Nuna I only became more fanatical about it. Our baby would grow up in a family where we care about the world. I wanted our child to set a good example. I had printed on the birth announcement that we would rather make a donation to charity instead of presents. I think it’s ridiculous that during your maternity period you are overloaded with clothes that only fit your child for a moment and that you most likely do not like.

“It is ridiculous that during your maternity period you are overloaded with clothes that only fit your child for a moment”

However, I thought the horror was stuffed animals or those ugly plastic toys that your child doesn’t care about. Nuna’s room was almost completely empty, except for the bed and a cupboard with a few items of clothing. I called it minimalist. Sterile, my mother thought. And sad for Nuna, because according to my mother, a child needs toys.

Job now also realizes that what I do is not so crazy after all. We save a lot of money because of our way of life. Where I used to be able to spend hundreds of euros on clothing, we now have a savings account that many people in their thirties will envy. We are increasingly talking about living in a smaller and more energy-efficient way and then paying off a large part of the mortgage.

Toys

Nuna has very few toys. I have a sensory play bowl with rice, twigs, sand and dried beans on the table for her; she can spend hours doing that – every once in a while I replace the content. She also draws a lot and we are almost always outside. Nature offers plenty of toys.

“Nuna has a sensory playpen with rice, twigs, sand and beans”

An iPad is not allowed with us. Nothing with batteries though. I was with my sister recently and got completely overstimulated by her twins’ toys. Everything seemed to make noise. She buys a lot through AliExpress or at the Action; things that break after a few uses. It’s a thorn in my side, but I don’t say anything about it.

More space

I am much happier now that I live minimalistic. It seems like it gives me space in my head to see what really matters in life. I don’t waste my time in busy shops, I show my children a forest or we look for shells on the beach. My friends are used to it by now, but they also think I’m special. “As long as you don’t end up in a tiny house,” one of them said last week. She should know that Job and I are talking about that more and more.”

This article appears in Kek Mama 10-2022.

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