‘How do I deal with the guilt of gifts from my environment?’

Image: Getty Images

Sometimes you can’t figure it out on your own and you could use some advice. So every week a reader talks about her dilemma.

Sonia (33) is a single mother of James (4) and Morris (1).

“Almost all of my children’s toys have been received, the same goes for their clothes. I didn’t even pay for my pram. I live on donations from friends, acquaintances and the government. My gratitude is great, but my guilt keeps me awake at night.

Single mom

I was five months pregnant when my youngest son’s father disappeared overnight. We didn’t live together, we planned to, but as he watched my belly grow, his resistance to the idea of ​​fatherhood grew. The man I had my oldest son with was a fling who I agreed with as soon as we found out I was pregnant that he wouldn’t have to bear any responsibility. I wanted to keep the child, he didn’t. Fine, then I did it on my own. But it was a different story with Morris’ father.

Read also – Petra lives with her family on donations: ‘We get quite a lot of criticism’ >

gifts

A procedure is now underway to enforce child support from Morris’ father, but that has not yielded anything yet. With my job as a carer I earn just above minimum wage. Our social housing is relatively affordable, but caring for my children on my own barely makes ends meet. Luckily I get all kinds of allowances. I wouldn’t have made it at all without it.

I got the pram from a friend of my eldest sister, furniture for the nursery comes free from Marktplaats and I refurbished it myself with a lick of paint – you’ll be amazed at what you can find for free on sales sites. My parents support me every week with a full shopping bag, including diapers.

“I live with a stone in my stomach all the time”

Heartwarming and I express my gratitude in word and gesture. But at the same time I feel like a failure as a mother. Who can’t take care of her children alone? I live with a stone in my stomach all the time. I can’t do without the gifts, but how do I make the guilt bearable?”

Receive Kek Mama with a discount and free shipping on your doormat every month! Subscribe now and pay only €4.19 per edition.