Good vibes only in the crisis? “You can also find something shitty!”

Always look on the bright side of life, says Monty Python’s “Life of Brian”. The situation of being nailed to a cross and left in the desert couldn’t be any crazier. The sentence and the scene inevitably belong together and if it weren’t satirical it would pass as a prime example of toxic positivity.

As in the film, things are going on in many companies right now – albeit completely seriously: good vibes only in the crisis! But not all employees feel that. Nevertheless, their negative feelings are often not given space.

This is noticeable in many places: If you are greeted in 1-on-1 with a casual “Everything cool?” instead of an honestly meant and openly formulated “How are you?”, the answer is almost cheered: “Everything cool!” And if you only hear “Take it easy!” when you have concerns, you will soon feel left alone with your grief. This optimism becomes a problem when it causes people to hide their negative emotions behind supposed resilience. Real resilience has nothing to do with always finding everything cool and being relaxed.

On the contrary: you can also find something shitty! In psychology, resilience describes the resistance of an individual to develop positively despite unfavorable life circumstances and critical life events. However, the emphasis here is on “develop”. We can only grow with the circumstances if we consciously deal with the triggers and the consequences of the challenges instead of just silencing everything and smiling away. Honest vomiting and hope for the future are not mutually exclusive. Rather, both belong together.

Of course, that doesn’t mean sinking into a negative spiral. Toxic negativity is just as helpful as toxic positivity—not at all. But the path to “everything is cool” can have its ups and downs as well. If we think of resilience as a muscle, it would only be trained that way – by tensing and letting go.

In this respect, empathetic managers are more in demand than ever during the crisis. Hearing worries and fears in the team, accepting them and then showing the people in the company perspectives from which they can draw motivation again – that is good leadership.

Of course, in the end, everyone has to develop their own healthy optimism to a certain extent. Or to put it another way: Nobody goes through the ups and downs for you – not even your boss. But that too is part of the development of healthy resilience: understanding where people can work themselves and where the responsibility lies solely with the people around them.

It’s important to be open about it, so it’s okay to revisit the good-vibes-only mantra every once in a while. In the crisis it could be: “Honest vibes only, good vibes soon”.