Families with a conviction: ‘When I knew no one here, Allah was my great comfort’

“Twenty-four years ago I moved to the Netherlands. From Egypt I came to a completely different country where I knew no one. My husband worked from dawn to dusk in his sandwich shop, I was home alone. I felt terribly lonely. My faith in Allah was my great comfort at that time. I prayed to him five times a day, I still do.

We are now years later. I feel much more at home in the Netherlands now than then. My husband and I have had three children. I am incredibly proud of how they are doing. Our oldest is studying at university, the middle one is in college. All three of our children are very sporty; they exercise almost every day.

A good base

Faith also plays a role in the lives of our children, although we are not very strict. It is about a base; I want to teach them how to be a good person. I want them to be honest and sincere and not get caught up in bad things by others. Hanging out on the street and smoking, for example. And I would like them to be good to others, to help someone who needs it. Our eldest two went to Islamic school on weekends from the age of thirteen. There they read from the Quran and learn more about their faith. The youngest is going there soon.

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Choose by yourself

At home we pray and read from the Quran. The eldest two pray themselves, the youngest does not yet. He doesn’t quite understand it yet, although I sometimes hear him talking a little in Arabic. We also observe Ramadan and fast for a period of time. The men go to the mosque once a week. And our daughter decided to wear a headscarf when she was seventeen, just like me. I don’t impose religion on them, they can choose for themselves. For example, on New Year’s Eve and Christmas I tell them that those aren’t our official holidays, but if they want to celebrate it, I’m fine with that. This year I even brought a Christmas tree into the house and our youngest got presents in his shoe with Sinterklaas.

Respect for others

I try to teach my children that we respect everyone, with every faith. I am also open to people of other faiths. I have now made many friends and acquaintances in the Netherlands, both Muslim women and women of other faiths.

“I try to teach my children that we respect everyone, with every faith.”

Yet respect for other faiths is still less obvious than it sounds. Recently: in the Albert Heijn I gave a man a coin for a trolley because I wanted to help him. He said: ‘I like Arab people, but if they wear a headscarf I can’t do anything with that.’ I was in shock, you don’t say that, do you? I didn’t argue with him because I know it’s pointless.”

This article appears in Kek Mama 13-2021.

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