“Even a sip of water came right out again”

Image: Unsplash

“I was spitting at least thirty times a day. I kept throwing up. Even a sip of water came right out again. Custard, crackers, and all the other well-meaning advice: nothing helped, I just couldn’t hold it down. In three days I lost seven kilos. My doctor dismissed my complaints, according to her it was all perfectly normal.

Only after my insistence did she refer me to the hospital, where I was eventually diagnosed with HG: Hyperemesis Gravidarum, or extreme nausea. I had never heard of that. Because I was dehydrated, I was on an IV for 13 days. Crying, I crawled on the floor towards the toilet, if I had to throw up again. A nurse saw that and said, “Oh, don’t be silly.” I even had to clean up my own vomit. Downright traumatizing. Fortunately, the nausea stopped when I was 22 weeks pregnant.’

Shutters closed

It’s the misunderstanding that hurts so much. ‘Hey, every pregnant woman is nauseous, that’s just part of it.’ I can’t count the times I got that comment. And during my first pregnancy, in 2005, I also thought I was acting up, even after I was diagnosed.

When I got pregnant again in 2014, I hoped things would go better this time. But again I was very nauseous and threw up at least thirty times a day. Everything was a possible trigger. I couldn’t stand daylight, so the shutters had to be closed. The smell of my husband and daughter displeased me, so I steered clear of them. When my husband started cooking, I stayed upstairs with all the doors hermetically closed so that I couldn’t smell anything. Every movement made me feel sick, even turning over in bed.

Fortunately, I now had a new doctor who did take me seriously. In three weeks I was admitted four times because of dehydration, each time I had to have an IV. The blood vessels in my esophagus were so affected by the stomach acid from vomiting that spitting often brought blood with it. It was awful.’

No poser

“There was a little more understanding during this pregnancy, but I noticed that many people, even in the medical community, thought I was a poser. A gynecologist even suggested that I should make an appointment with the psychologist: ‘It’s in your mind, maybe you just don’t want this child.’ Truly incredible.

I was barely able to work during my pregnancy. My colleagues – all men – were nice to me and sent flowers. I lay in bed a lot, which caused my muscles to relax. To maintain my strength, I would force myself to unload the dishwasher or go around the block. Although people who saw me on the street told me: ‘Oooh, so it’s not too bad now?’ It seemed like I could never get it right.’

“Go ahead, it’s okay”

‘There are women with HG who think about having an abortion, the spitting and the nausea drive them crazy. I get that, I’ve had those thoughts too. That I said to my husband: ‘We’re ending this pregnancy, I can’t take it anymore.’ I also once said to my baby in the belly; “Go ahead, it’s okay.” Of course I didn’t mean that. Because you want the child, but you just don’t want the disease.

At first I was given anti-nausea medication which did not work. Then heavier guns were deployed: I was given medication that cancer patients also receive against the nausea after chemotherapy. Fortunately, this helped, and again after 22 weeks I was rid of the nausea. I counted myself lucky with that, because I knew that there are also women who continue to suffer from it throughout their pregnancy.’

Read also: Pregnant Bibi Breijman about extreme nausea: ‘As if you were poisoned’

Not between the ears

‘Meanwhile I had joined a HG discussion group on Facebook. Even after my last pregnancy I remained involved in this, to help other women and to give tips. I enjoyed talking to fellow sufferers. Women who are in the same boat, who understand when you’re having a bad day, who don’t tell you to “man up.” You drag each other through the day.

Last year I became a board member of the ZEHG Foundation (Pregnancy Sickness and Hyperemesis Gravidarum). I especially want to help to get more awareness and understanding for HG. Women who suffer from this really don’t pretend and it’s not in their heads. That is why I give lectures, also to doctors and gynaecologists. I want to help others to have a carefree pregnancy. Too often it is said that ‘unfortunately nothing can be done about it’, while the second type of medication helped me well. However, not all doctors know that they can also prescribe these medicines at HG. And that’s a real shame.

Medically and psychologically it is too hard for me to get pregnant again. So my husband and I have made the choice not to have a family expansion anymore. I had a hard time with that, but the chance of recurrence is about 80-90 percent. So I flipped a switch: I fought for these two kids, and now it’s done. My children were more than worth this misery.’

About HG

About 80 percent of pregnant women suffer from nausea to a greater or lesser extent. When morning sickness takes on extreme forms, we call it Hyperemesis Gravidarum. The nausea often remains incessantly present and causes frequent vomiting. Both UK and US figures indicate that HG occurs in 0.5% to 2% of pregnancies, but the actual number is expected to be higher. This is because these numbers only include women who have sought medical help. Based on the birth figures of Statistics Netherlands, there are approximately 2,000 to 4,000 women per year in the Netherlands who have HG during pregnancy. The cause is still unclear. More info on ZEHG.nl

This story was previously in Kek Mama.

More personal stories? Follow us on Facebook and Instagram.