‘Can everyone stop saying that a son and a daughter are a royal couple?’
When I heard at the 20-week ultrasound that I would have not one, but two sons, I thought it was good to swallow. What did I know about dicks, football and dinosaurs?
Fortunately, now that I have been the mother of Bodi and Daaf for three years, I know better. Having twins is very special and being allowed to raise two boys? The best part of my life. They are my princes, Mama is the queen of the house, the only woman.
But what I find so bloody irritating is that so many people still use the term ‘couple’ when they talk about a son and a daughter. As if you are ‘lucky’ if you manage to make a copy of both sexes? As if you then have ‘the best of everything’? You can’t make motherhood, you can’t choose it. You get what suits you, what you can handle, what you have been awarded in life. You don’t put together a family yourself, it happens to you. It’s the way your life goes – that’s the best part about it. I always saw myself dabbling in pink glitter and skirts and long braids. Maybe someday I’ll have that daughter. But maybe not: and then that’s okay too. I don’t think that as a parent of only sons you ‘miss something’, just like you as a mother or father of only daughters do not ‘miss anything’ either.
white mice
Because a child is a child: pink or blue or white or purple: who cares? Daaf looks a lot like me in appearance – on the inside too, by the way. A real mini-me, but with shorter hair and yes, that dick. Very exciting. Bodi is the sweetest little version of his father I can imagine. I’m lucky to have such funny, happy kids. My prince couple. Because gender does not matter at all for your happiness as a mother. So can’t we throw a nice beige or white gender reveal party from now on, instead of popping those pink or blue confetti in the air? Just white mice on a biscuit: because the birth of a healthy and happy child is the ultimate miracle. And whether it’s a boy or a girl, it doesn’t matter. Give me a few more of these.
Tessa Heinhuis (32) is online manager of KekMama and editor-in-chief of Mama Magazine. She lives with her husband Billy and their twins Bodi and Daaf (3) in Bussum.
