‘A few times I really had to bite my tongue’

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Rianne (35, mother of an 8-year-old son) has been working as a notarial assistant for ten years.

“Sometimes I joke to friends that I can write a book about everything I experience at the office. I see all kinds of things passing by with sensitive information, such as prenuptial agreements and wills. My employment contract states that I am not allowed to disclose anything about this under penalty of dismissal. Sometimes it’s hard to keep my mouth shut.

Behind the back

Like that time a man came into the office with his wife. Together they drew up an identical will, which means that partners designate each other as heirs. Everything was neatly arranged and signed.

The next day the man showed up at our doorstep again. Behind his wife’s back, he had the will amended: she would not inherit anything from him if he died. I would prefer to warn such a woman, but that is not allowed. I don’t want to get in trouble and lose my job, besides, it’s none of my business. As far as I know this man is still alive and they are still together. So she is in for a nasty surprise if he dies before she does.

Professional secrecy

Sometimes professional secrecy touches me personally. Like when my uncle passed away two years ago. He had had bad contact with his daughter, my cousin, for thirty years. My uncle had his will drawn up at my office. A day after his death, my cousin called our office to inquire about her inheritance. So awkward and shameless. She kept calling, always on high legs. When she turned out to be disinherited, she demanded her legal share. It was at most a few thousand euros.

“I would have preferred to spew my bile, but of course that is not allowed”

I would have preferred to spew my bile about her at my parents’ house, but of course that is not allowed. A few times I really had to bite my tongue when I saw my parents, but I managed to hold back.

Read also – Julia kept her pregnancy a secret: ‘I was prepared for grief, not a baby’ >

Discreet

Keeping quiet isn’t very difficult for me, because I’m calm and don’t blab. I’m not a gossip either and know very well when to keep my mouth shut. I always tell my son not to talk badly about others and not to share boyfriends’ secrets with others. Like his mother, he is discreet; Sinterklaas’ big secret is also safe with him and he will not reveal it to younger children.

The only thing that sometimes bothers me is something I know about my parents. My father had his will recorded in my office, there were no shocking things in it. But he casually dropped that he and my mother have quite a bit of savings. My mother just doesn’t know about that. Not that this is hidden from her, but my father takes care of all money matters very traditionally and my mother does not delve into it.

“He let slip through the nose and lips that they have quite a bit of savings”

Dad keeps it that way because he’s afraid my mom will squander everything if she knows about this money, she’s got quite a hole in her hand. Sometimes she sees beautiful, expensive shoes in town and sighs that she doesn’t have the money for them. Then I think: if only you knew. Yet I can separate business and private well. That doesn’t bother me. I’m just surprised that in such a good marriage there are apparently still secrets.”

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