You with your hobby: ‘I am often alone with our daughters because my partner is fishing’

Penny violence

Carl (37): “I never win the horse fight. As the only man in the house, I can’t compete with two Penny daughters aged 13 and 11 and a horse mad woman. Complaining that I don’t like it when they are out early on Saturday morning or go to the equestrian center every free hour, it makes little sense. “You do realize Banjer needs to be cared for, don’t you, Dad?”

It’s even so bad that when I don’t find anyone when I get home, I automatically cycle to the meadow. Success assured, I always find a family member between the bales of hay. Calling or texting makes no sense, their phones are usually in some cleaning box. Fortunately it helps if I sometimes put my own pony eyes on and say that daddy needs attention and love too. Then my girls immediately hug me to death.”

What went wrong here?

Wendy (40): “It was just a trap. My new boyfriend and my daughter played soccer together, and he also became the coach of the girls’ junior team. For me as a mother it would only come down to ‘occasionally’ doing the laundry and doing a bar shift once in a while.

We are now two years later and somewhere along the way that single wash has changed to ‘Mama is the laundress of both Girls Under 10 and Heren Zondag 2’. Every weekend, in exchange for a book coupon once a year, I throw 24 blue and white shirts into the water. Those fine grass stains hardly go away. I also spend hours baking toasted sandwiches and croquettes behind the bar. Because: ‘You’re already at the club to watch us, Mom.’ Sometimes I think: I’ve just been framed. On the other hand, I am deeply touched that my boyfriend has such a nice bond with his stepdaughter because of it.”

a bit naive

Tess (28): “Referees are scarce and therefore highly sought after. I didn’t know that when Milan proposed to do ‘something’ in football again. With two weak ankles, active play was no longer an option, but whistling a match of our son was possible. Good for his fitness too.

Aside from running once during the week, I thought it would only be about an hour on the weekend. We would have enough quality time for our family. How naive. I now know that there is a chronic shortage of referees and that Milan not only whistles our son’s game, but also easily half the youth department. So on Saturdays I sleep in for a long time, get groceries and have lunch with friends in the city. Also cozy.”

The disguised carrot

Elizabeth (33): “As an American born and bred, I am somewhat used to sports experience, but the football madness of the Dutch was really new to me. How they dress up in competitions… As carrots, lions or even men as peasant women. I think it’s incredibly funny. My friend joins in just as hard. Thomas also dresses up for all football matches of the Dutch national team. He has piles of orange shirts and caps in the closet and at finals he dyes his hair orange. Apparently it’s in the genes, because our three-year-old son already has the necessary orange outfits that he definitely wants to wear when playing football. Even when the US team is playing.”

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I’m not going to the cold

Kelly (31): “At our house, holidays are not chosen based on the presence of the sea, beach or number of hours of sunshine, but on the presence of cycling routes. Preferably on mountain roads. My husband is a cyclist. Cycling fanatic actually. The last holidays we went to southern Spain, by car. Because: his racing bike. The place was ideal for all of us, as there were ‘climbers’, but also a pool and the sea. Then Tim could cycle his round in the morning and Sofie and I already went to the swimming pool at our apartment. The temperature was bearable this early. In the afternoon we had an extensive lunch and drove to the beach.

But now Tim has something else on his mind. This summer he would like to go to Norway. There seem to be fantastic winding and mountain routes through rugged nature. But Scandinavia also means: chance of bad weather, cold and rain. I really give him everything, but that is going too far for me.”

Real love

Dyon (37): “When I fell madly in love with Leander as a teenager, I already knew he was a fish fanatic. I said back then: as long as it stays with fishing, I’m fine with it. I could not have imagined that this hobby would determine a large part of our family life. Holidays are selected at the most favorable fishing spots. I often spend Saturday evenings and nights alone with our daughters because Leander is fishing. But when I see how cheerful he then appears at breakfast and how he patiently teaches our oldest the intricacies of the trade during the holidays, my heart melts.”

This article appears in Kek Mama 08-2021.

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