Patricia is shocked when she is with her daughter at the dentist: ‘I am ashamed’

Jokingly and very tough, I often say to fellow parents: ‘Well, you go to the emergency room at least once with every child!’. Like: ‘It can happen to the best parent if things go wrong once’.

Cool story

For example, a few years ago we raced to the hospital on a Saturday morning. A large mirror had fallen onto our youngest daughter’s hand. My husband and I were both in the bathroom when we heard a huge bang coming from her room. Followed by a few seconds of dead silence before we heard howling – and that is exactly the moment when you as a parent know ‘this is not right’. Instinctively you literally drop everything from your hands and turn into one action herofigure. Everything is fully automatic and a survival mode is activated.

The tip of her little finger was half amputated and required minor surgery. Fortunately, she later turned out to have no permanent damage, so it was only a tough story.

We never ended up in hospital with our eldest, but she too has already had the necessary ‘challenges’. So she could roll over from one day to the next and my husband managed to ‘catch’ her with one leg when she fell off the changing table. I also once put her in a bath that was too hot. I always checked the temperature of the water, but not this one time. She looked at me with big startled eyes when I gave her a bath. I immediately saw that something was wrong and instinctively pulled her out of the bath immediately. Even then with a fear free, as far as our oldest is concerned.

Until last month …

Waiting in the parking lot

We’re at the dentist. ‘Madam, we need to talk to you for a minute. Your daughter’s teeth are so bad at the top that three molars have to be pulled! ‘

The shame that falls over me is immeasurable, my heart is crying and I am unbelievably angry with myself.

“Choose three?” I stammer in bewilderment.

“Yes, and that must be under general anesthesia.”

I swallow my tears and a week later we are in the waiting room of a special pediatric dentist. Everything is moving very quickly. The sting of the anesthesia, her little cry before she falls asleep, me having to leave the room, waiting in the parking lot because of corona …

Then we get the phone call that we can pick her up again. Still half anesthetized and with the mucus of blood hanging from her mouth, we get her home again.

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Choose fee

My husband and I don’t say a word to each other in the car. I can only hold her really close to me. I gently rock her back and forth and repeat like a mantra the words ‘mommy is with you, everything will be fine’.

Two hours later she is fully up and even asks if she can go on the trampoline. She gets some paracetamol that day, but doesn’t seem to be in pain what so ever to have.

In the evening, in solidarity with her poor chewing ability, we eat stew, crushed at her request, she asks if she can put the three molars under her pillow for the Tooth Fairy.

“Of course,” my husband and I shout in unison.

Perhaps there is also a ‘Choice Fairy’, my daughter says jokingly. We laugh at her and I feel a tear roll down my cheek.

“It’s okay, Mom,” she says. ‘You don’t always have to be tough …’

Patricia van Liemt is a radio host, writer and mother of 2 lab babies Maria (10) and Phaedra (7). She worked at Qmusic and 100% NL, among others. You can now hear her successful podcast series Let’s Talk About Sex (e) on GoodLIFE Radio. Her husband lives in Switzerland during the week, when she tries to combine kids, work and girls nights as best as possible. In her debut novel ‘De Lab Baby’ she talks about her personal experiences with IVF.

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