Patricia about reactions: ‘The dredge that I got poured over me was just super creepy’
Patricia van Liemt is a radio presenter, writer and mother of Maria (12) and Phaedra (9). Every Friday she writes striking, honest, funny and above all recognizable columns about her life and motherhood.
Last week I wrote a column that caused quite a stir. Well, if only it had been dust, a simple broom would have sufficed. No, my column was dragged to the depths of the internet, where I ended up tarred and feathered on a digital village square.
Dredge
Yes, but wait a minute Patries, don’t be so naive, I hear you think. And I get what you’re saying, because I know very well that the topics I choose for my columns are often controversial, but my goal is also a more inclusive and just world. But the dredge I got poured over me online last week was just super creepy. On the internet people suddenly dare to criticize someone very easily, sometimes without any reason, and much more often anonymously.
Once behind our screens, we apparently feel unfettered by any social norms and expectations, and suddenly dare to say much more than we would in real life. In fact, I bet that nine out of ten people would say: “No dude, I didn’t mean it like that at all”. And then my question is: so why do it in the first place?
High trees
Look, criticizing is always allowed, and something with tall trees catches a lot of wind. And I’m a bit of a crazy tree, I know, but please let’s continue to treat each other with some respect. Even if you’ve had a bad day. Then you still don’t have to express your emotions like a caveman on the internet.
“My column was dragged to the depths of the internet, where I ended up in a digital village square with tar and feathers”
Okay, let me turn it around. As parents, we absolutely do not want our children to be exposed to this, do we? The internet is a place where they spend so much time. I think it’s dead there anyway. We already have to protect our kids against loverboys, phishing, pedophilia, dangerous challenges, cyberbullying… and so on. Brrr…
So, as adults, please don’t throw our morals over the fence when we’re on the world wide web? Because if this happens in response to a column, how safe and reliable is the internet for our children?
(Not) To the willows
After the huge shitstorm of last week it took me a while to stop writing and hang up my laptop. And in my head I was already moving to the countryside so that I could do something with goats for the rest of my life.
But after a few good nights sleep, I felt the feminist in me strengthen again and I will continue my columns. Do you know ‘sometimes we just have to agree to disagree’, without one of us being immediately called a retarded cancer whore.
We can.
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