“I think sex is just like running: I get tired just thinking about it. After all, a short walk is not enough, you have to change clothes, keep a warm up, work up a sweat and take a shower afterwards. The same is true for sex. A quickie doesn’t count if you already have as little sex as my husband Rayan and I. So putting on sexy lingerie, a before and after play and the deed will take you at least an hour. Well, after a day of caring for our three boys, when I finally get to bed, I’d rather get some sleep in that hour.
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More hilarious than horny
Before I was a mother it was different. Rayan is my first and only boyfriend. We both have a Moroccan background, but as a third generation we were raised very liberally. My parents allowed me to study and work. Only for cohabitation and premarital sex different norms and values applied.
We got married six months after we started dating. Both virgins, although we had secretly felt and felt something before. It wasn’t until we got married that we started exploring. That was fun. I laughed terribly about our crazy positions and sometimes we did it twice in a day. I thought it was more hilarious than very horny, but Rayan turned out to be a good lover.
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Not more often than necessary
When we wanted to have children, sex became a necessity. It was useful to make love to each other, I wanted to become a mother. I can’t say I really did it against my will, especially with number one, but when we went for the third, I was already quite fed up with the whole thing. I also took a temperature to make sure when I ovulated so that I didn’t have to do it more often than I really needed to. After the birth of the latter, I had myself sterilized. My task was done.
At the same time, our sex life completely collapsed. Ever since the guys got here, I somehow find it weird and disrespectful to myself as a wife and mother to act like a sex pussy. Hugging, kissing, fine. But being sexy for my husband, belly dancing or frolicking in heels in a thong for him just doesn’t fit my role as a mother.
Talking about sex is difficult. Neither of us can. I usually run upstairs in the evening, so that I lie far in front of him. I sleep when he touches me. When I’m not really snoring already, tired from the day.
If it’s up to me, we’ll never do it again. But Rayan will never agree to that. He accepts that I am busy with family and my job and that I need more rest. Sex once a month is the bare minimum. So when he grumbles, whines, and complains, I flip a switch, throw two glasses of white wine at it, and sacrifice an evening to my husband’s pleasure. Glad to be off it for quite some time afterwards. ”
This article is in Kek Mama 15-2020.
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